Rayne
I don't know why I was surprised when the day after Azi's "girlfriend" had shown up, Azi asked me to go with him to the mall to look at dress shirts.
That's not to imply that I wasn't thrilled . . . After only a few hours after the pretentious blonde's presence I'd felt the urge to douse her with gasoline and set the whole thing on fire.
It was the strangest thing; I couldn't see why Azi liked her . . . Because he did like her.
Sometimes.
There were times when I would look over and he would share a sympathetic glance with me, sincere to the very core. And there were other times when I caught him . . . pining for her. Like she actually held some part of his heart, and, without it, he couldn't be whole. When he looked like that, it made me want to cry, for reasons I couldn't figure out.
Other than, you know, the obvious. Azi was quickly becoming my best friend. This Grace Abbie character gave off major "no good" vibes. I didn't like her, and I didn't like the thought of Azi and her together.
I'd stayed awake many nights, surrounded by the soft down blanket of my mother's bed, and pressed my ear against the wall that connected our rooms. I never once heard a sound; no voices, no tearful reminiscing, nothing. That made me feel better.
But not by much.
So, when Azi passed over her and asked me to go on the mall trip, I agreed without hesitation.
We took my mom's car; I drove. We listened to the radio. Azi fiddled with the stations: The Cranberries, Linkin Park, Evanescence, Kelly Clarkson, Jason Mraz . . . The artists blurred together.
I had just pulled into a prime spot when Azi caught my arm.
"Rayne, do you mind if we do not look at clothes?"
I considered it for about two seconds.
"Not at all. What did you have in mind?"
He smiled. "I am in the mood to eat. Do you know any good places around here?"
"Yeah. There's a place in Court . . . Olga's? Best sandwiches. Ever." I opened the door and shivered against the cold. Azi ran around the front of the car and gave me his jacket.
"Aren't you cold?"
He just smiled, too secretive for my curiosity not to be peaked.
We dashed through the automatic doors. Thank God for heaters.
Olga's was on the right wing of the multi-layered "Shopping Extravaganza." It wasn't a long walk, but we took our time, stopping in whatever stores caught our fancy. We browsed through the Twilight merchandise at Hot Topic, and the video games at F.Y.E. Eventually, we ended up in a booth at Olga's, steaming hot sandwiches in front of us, a plate of fries between us.
"These are good." Azi said around a mouthful of lettuce and terriyaki chicken.
I nodded, concentrating on chewing.
The meal was over too fast. Neither of us were ready to leave. I'd all but forgotten about Grace.
Azi grabbed my hand as we wandered around the mall for another couple hours. I bought some earrings from Claire's and the entire "Mortal Instruments" series from Walden Books with the money my mom had given me. Azi bought a copy of "The Host", at my recommendation. The mall was closing; we still weren't ready to go home.
Azi and I dashed to the car.
I had an idea.
"Where are we going?"
I smiled into the darkness.
"You'll see."
We drove in complete silence for ten minutes before I shut off the car and reached into the back seat, reaching around for a moment before finding what I was searching for.
"C'mon. No one ever comes here in the winter."
The town park was a lovely place; filled with families and children during the summer, and decorated with lights for the winter. The pine trees were covered with snow and glittered like diamonds.
"What are we doing, Rayne?" Azi asked. I ignored him and busied myself with setting up the boom box I'd pulled from the backseat. The CD it contained at the moment was TSO, one of my mother's favorite groups. After a minute of fiddling, music broke through the silence of the night. It was achingly sweet. I recognized the opening strains of " The Music Box."
"Dance with me?" I asked, shyly extending a hand. He took it and pulled me into a slow revolution in time to the music.
I wasn't cold anymore; his arms circled my waist, too warm, always too warm.
We revolved. The music filled the air with sweet, hypnotic notes.
I gave you that music box . . . Back then, that seemed liked so much. We watched it go round and round, as the melodies unwound. But all these things are now long gone, and not to be wished upon . . . Again.
There was something about the air, the lights, the music. I wanted to cry. I did cry.
Azi wiped away a tear as it glittered down my face.
"Rayne?"
I shook my head slowly back and forth. The tears seemed right, but an explanation didn't. He didn't press. We continued to turn.
The song was almost over. The thought of it ending made me cry more; Why did this song, this moment in time, feel like all we had?
When the song was over, we'd break apart. Maybe he'd hold my hand as we walked towards the car and drove home. Even if he did, Grace would still be there when we returned. And he belonged to Grace; I knew that. They had a bond that transcended normal relationships. He hated her, but it was like hating himself at the same time. Even I, blinded by what I felt, could see that.
I was right; this was all we had. A moment, stolen straight from Heaven. I laid my head against his shoulder.
I wanted more. So much more than he could ever give me.
The song went into it's final minute, and Azi stiffened. I leaned away a few inches. He looked at me. I looked back. Our breath formed puffs of moisture that mingled in the air.
Then, as the music swelled to a close around us, he pressed his lips gently to mine.
Oh, the musical box continues to turn . . . The candle in the windows continue to burn . . . But I know they're just memories . . . Like Christmas past . . . Or you and me . . .
Author's Note: Lyrics are from the song "Music Box" by Trans Siberian Orchestra. I suggest you listen to it while reading the park scene.
