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Isn't it funny how memories, ambitions, and dreams so close to you could just fade away within a matter of years? How strange it is that everything that kept you going in life can just drift away like a bittersweet autumn breeze, without you even realizing what's at work. It's called growing up . . . and it scares me.
I was sitting in my kitchen, looking out through a window at my backyard, with the tree branches still bare from winter's harsh reign. As my eyes scanned across the scene, an old memory popped into my head. It was of me in the winter of second grade, laughing gleefully as my little boots stomped through the snow, leaving tiny imprints in the smooth blanket of white that had settled on the grass the night before. I smiled to myself, remembering how carefree and happy I was back then. Then, my smile faded as a question just sprang into my head, catching me a little off guard. What happened?
I leaned back in my chair as thousands and thousands of memories came flooding back to me, crashing on me like an ocean wave. Remember the time when I got a spoon stuck in between my teeth? Remember the time when I had my mind set on being a veterinarian? Remember the time when I was obsessed with pokemon and got up early every morning to watch cartoons? Remember the time when I only listened to Aaron Carter and Backstreet Boys? Remember, remember, remember? I remembered because that was the only thing I could do. Remember. For everything was just a memory, a captured moment in time I could never get back.
But why exactly can't I go back? What's stopping me from doing all those things that I did back then? The answer is growing up. I am no longer the little girl that used to skip around, blissfully unaware of what's going on in the world. All my priorities have shifted. I am no longer concerned with who had the newest pokemon game or what time my favorite cartoon was on. Nowadays, I'm usually thinking about if I'll be able to make the varsity lacrosse and hockey team, if I can handle all the tough classes I've chosen next year, or if my parents will even be able to afford my private high school's tuition because of the recession. I have traded in my old girly signs that used to hang on my bedroom walls for posters of my favorite bands. I have exchanged my weekend nights of playing on my gameboy for weekend nights hanging out with my friends at the local mall.
And all this change is caused by two little and seemingly insignificant words: growing up. These words have power, this is true. It's simply amazing how these two little words can drastically change a person's life in such a short period of time. I have grown up. I am now a teenager, filled with different hopes and drives than that of my former self.
Oh, how I wish I could go back though! I wish that there was a rewind button to all of this, where I can just simply press down and zip back to my innocent childhood. I want to dance around the sprinkler in the summer heat, to joyfully watch old Disney movies, to sit in the grass and listen to the wind hit my face, without so much as a thought of all the horrible news going on in today's world. It seems impossible, and I guess in a way it is. I no longer think of the world as one big playhouse, where nobody could get hurt. Reality has set into my brain, sucking away all the infantile wonderment out of my head like a vacuum cleaner. True, it's sad, but it's all a part of growing up. We all have to grow up sometime. Soon, I will grow up more, leaving my high school relationships and mannerisms behind. We will all continue to change and grow, up until the day we die. It's all part of life's scary but inevitable consequences. So, we must cherish each day as if it will end the next day, because soon, it will. I plan on enjoying every single second. How about you?
This is Lovely432, going to go outside.
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