I am in a constant state of fright. I am in a constant state of fright.
Every moment I breathe in the same amount doesn't seem to exit. Each time my breaths get shorter and shorter. Quicker and quicker. Who is this body that I'm living in? I contemplate that this person, whoever they are, is taking my breaths away. Sucking in the stolen air like it's life source.
Everyday I'm in a constant state of fright. Will this secret that's kept in my gut finally escape to hungry ears, greedy to listen? They don't know and some how I feel guilt for hiding it; shoving it down my throat like pills. I'm overdosing on this mud-covered secret. I'm choking on the green blades of grass that coat it.
I'm overdosing. I'm in a constant state of fright. These multifarious feelings are eating me up inside; gnawing on my organs like cancer in my brain. When I look in the mirror I see a ghost of my former self, hiding in the skin of a former person. I feel so unsure; so indecisive.
I walk through the school halls feeling their stares. These halls are empty of souls. They can't know; it's not possible. I am the only one sleeping with this secret. Yet I feel it slipping through my lips. My tongue tries to grasp the ends of the word but my grip fades until . . . until the words slip out like endless rain upon a rooftop. The greedy ears gobble up the words and the unappreciative mouth spits it out. Soon all of the greedy ears have heard. The nasty words spill in around me creating a collision of hate and violence. I never deserved such a cruel punishment. I never volunteered information.
I look in the mirror and see a cruel smile paired with a hateful stare. I never knew myself in the first place. I'm my worst enemy. The words spill from my mouth like overflow. When the deeds done there is no taking it back.
I live in a constant state of fear.
Kindell.
