I've been up for days trying to write this down. All my sentences seem a mess and my words harsh. But I've got to be honest.
It's been two months exactly since the day that you broke my heart. But strangely enough, I'm not vindictive. I'm happy for you. I want you to have the freedom to do what you want. Or maybe it's just because I know this hostile thing that you call a relationship will not last anther month. I have to have faith that you won't stay with her. The one that accuses you of cheating. When she doesn't even know. The one that stabs me so deep in the heart that I'm on the verge of tears as I write this. She can't possibly accuse me of helping you cheat. You can't leave me alone to face the world. What happened to Bally, Boston, Montreal, backpacking across Europe? She hurts you so deep that I don't understand why you deal with her. She constantly nags you and I for one have had enough. I can't handle this anymore. But I've got to have faith that you'll realize I'm here for you. Ready to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. Ready to greet you with open arms.
I'm ready for this to be over. But I don't think anyone could possibly understand how deeply I care for you. How much this is the opposite of a silly little high school relationship gone awry. I'm so deeply in love with you that I'm considering telling everyone the secret. Yes, the secret that haunts my life and follows me like a ghost. I shouldn't want you. I shouldn't have these feelings in my heart. I can't control this hurricane reasonably so I'm just going to wait it out. Mother Nature take your course and end this. However you choose.
All the things I've forgot to say race through my mind. And I want to express them to you. I want to scream my love for you from the hilltops. But I can't because you have a girlfriend. And she already hates me and bans you from talking to me. What is she going to do next? Kill me? I long to hold you in my arms and my heart aches as you walk by with her in your mind, in your hand. I'm afraid I have already lost you. Two months equals eternity. And I don't know if I can persevere any longer. It's been two months since you broke my heart.
Faith, that's all I have left.
