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Her body fit into my arms perfectly. Gabriella's seven pound thirteen ounce body fit like another piece in a jigsaw puzzle into my embrace, as if she was meant to be there, as I held my cousin for the first time. "Support her neck," my mom instructed me as I began to move my arm in place to support the newborn's fragile head. She was so beautiful with her deep blue eyes, her tiny toes, and soft russet skin. I stared at her in a deep concentration trying to grasp the fact that I, standing forever more at five feet one inch, was this small at one point. I kissed her forehead and whispered her name. Her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed, then she looked up at me with one million questions in her ocean blue eyes. I gently smiled at Gabriella, and she smiled back.
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I can sum up my mistakes, memories, laughs and cries, into one simple word . . . Life.
I can examine my twelve years of life for a long time. I can see my memories I have stored into my mind or the sacred secrets I have in a large supply on an unforgotten shelf. There can be times I can recall when I have cried, and I still cry when I think of them now. I can recall a funny joke my friend told me even though I had no idea what it meant at the time. I can remember the love an old friend and I shared or the times I battled an ex-friend in a mini-drama. There may be events I regret, and events I would trade anything to have back.
I'm sure you, reader, can look at your life, like I can do to mine, and say, "Wow." We as human beings can step back and look at our memories and learn from our mistakes or just laugh at our stupid assumptions. We can turn our uneventful collages into colorful masterpieces and appreciate our memories for what they are. I can look at my life in a simple way and be able to take three steps back to find myself still being able to look at my ugly mess in a simple way.
There are little events I can remember I did not appreciate as much as I would now. For instance, when I was four years-old and my grandma gave me a dollar. "What's this for, Gramma?" I stared at the older woman waiting for a reasonable response and I extended my hand to accept the bill. "Because I love you," she would say back to me and take my forehead to press her lips to my skin. Did I really appreciate, what I thought was then, the valueless dollar?
I find it so easy to marvel at the magnificence of life. I can't help but notice the glow and certain happiness a pregnant woman expresses when walking in public. You can't wipe away that permanent smile you have when you see a tiny baby being pushed around in a brand new stroller. I find it so amazing that I was once in my mother's womb, connected to her. My mother nurtured me and loved me from the moment she knew I was in her. I can stand, today, as an individual without the nutrients my mother's body has to offer. I am a person, like I was when I was as small as three days old. I was a baby as small and precious as Gabriella.
With the memories I am making and the risks that I am taking, I am adding to my beautiful picture of life. Whether it is learning to appreciate the good deeds you perform, the dollar your grandma gives you, or just looking at a newborn baby, you can see the gift of life shining like the brightest star in the sky.
This is dalygirl, stepping back to look at her life.
"Wow."
-Dalygirl
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