Author's Note: I would like to apologize for not writing in so long. The past few months of school have been very stressful, but now that school's out I will begin writing again.
"People say memories fade. Some even tell you to forget. I am not naive, I know things like this are happening everyday. If only I had the courage to face a gun without being afraid. If only I could look death in the eye without letting my tears fall. I'm not strong enough yet, and I'm afraid that unless I experience horrors like these, I never will be."
I slam my fist on the desk.
Screaming, throwing books. I rip Himmler's face off of the pile of papers on my desk. Scratching, ripping, cutting . . . I do not stop until he is a pile of paper at my feet.
I throw Tom Cruise's Valkyrie at the wall. I grab the identification card I received from the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. off of my dresser and hold it close, letting tears smear the picture of the unknown victim on the cover.
Cinco de Mayo, 2009.
I remember as I walked through those glass doors, how I had rolled my eyes at the security guards. My bag was ripped out of my hands and searched, my iPod and glasses sent tumbling to the floor, my water bottle and leftover breakfast thrown away."We're 14," my friend, Kitty, had whispered to me as we stepped through into the first exhibit. "It's not like we're going to bomb the place."
I remember nodding.
June 10, 2009.
The TV kept flashing the news to me. The reenactment of the gunman stepping through the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C., gunning down a security guard, being gunned himself, aiming toward more of what has already been done.
I wish James W. von Brunn had been killed. I wish he would've fallen, instead of USHMM security guard, Stephen T. Johns. I wish von Brunn would've been killed trying to destroy the memory of the limit of all humanity.
He was there, creating what the USHMM tries to prevent.
I once said I did not have the courage to face a gun. If I had been there, would I have gotten out of the way? Would I have run?
I realize now, that I do have the courage to face a gun. I have the courage to face what is trying to destroy what I believe in.
As I look at this murderer's face, this white supremacist. He is a failed artist, how ironic. His eyes are dead, he has no sense of who he is. He seems cold, and empty.
He reminds me somewhat, of a Holocaust victim.
In ways, we are all trapped inside a Holocaust. No one will ever know our sufferings, and just like Auschwitz and Buchenwald, some of the horrors we experience cannot be put into words.
My own personal Holocaust, has given me the courage to face a gun. And what is death, but a way to look into Heaven? James W. von Brunn is my personal enemy for attacking the USHMM.
My name is Grace. I am a Holocaust researcher and believer. I am still battling my own personal Holocaust.
And I have the courage to face a gun that threatens what I believe in.
-msof57
Author's Note: Sources:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090610/ap_on_re_us/us_holocaust_museum_shooting
The writing at the top of the article, is from my article "Holocaust." (ID: 10283)
