This is an article from a personal experience. There is a moral, just look for it.
I never really realize what I have until I lose it. I had an amazing best friend who I took for granted, constantly calling him an idiot, retarded, stupid, all of those insults. I bombarded him with stupid remarks about his intelligence . . . I even went so low as to call his sister out on being a fake, lying retard. I know what I did was wrong now, I know everything I've done was out of line, and I regret it greatly.
This boy was my best friend. I could never ever take back what I said because it's been said and the damage is done. I can apologize, but that doesn't fix the fact I was out of line. I'm a stupid girl, a stupid, stupid teenaged girl, and I deserve nothing but what has happened. I loved this boy as a friend. He stuck with me and made me commit to no longer inflicting physical harm on myself. And when I slipped up and ended up doing it again, he understood and said, "It's okay. You're only human. You're going to slip up, you're only perfect in my eyes."
He loved me . . . Claimed to be in love with me. And I hurt him so many times. I didn't deserve a friend like him, but I found him. And whenever something happened, he knew something was wrong. And he listened to me rant, and let me cry on his shoulder, never saying a word. Looking back on it, I needed him. And I still do.
Whenever I would go to school and wear a sweater with long, baggy sleeves, and baggy pants, he was the first to know what had happened. He would pull me away before anybody else could notice and ask me what happened, and why. He noticed everything, whenever I was feeling mischievous, he would see the glimmer of inspiration in my eye. When I was sad, he was the first to see the despair I hid behind a smile. I loved him so much, I would give anything to have him back. He wasn't a boyfriend or anything, just a close friend.
I remember the first time I insulted him. I didn't know the boy that well, and he was acting like a total dork. So I called him a moronic fool. He got so sad . . . I felt so repentant immediately. He didn't come to school the next day. His friend said, "He really likes you, Monet'. You better not have made him go insane." I felt a surge of pity wash through me. So I asked for his number and called him to apologize. We became best friends immediately. He was my favorite person in the world . . . I would be IMing or texting him non stop all day, and everybody asked why I was always on the phone. It wasn't because I'm addicted, it's because I need him.
Now . . . I regret ever even meeting him. Because he didn't deserve to be driven mad. I wish I had never gone to the school I do. Even though I probably wouldn't have made it to thirteen, he didn't deserve the crap I gave him.
Sacrifice me in the name of love, if it means you'll be alive and happy, then death won't be so bad.
Monet1616
