|
Hannah's P.O.V.
The morning air was sweet, just like the old strawberry field on a summers day. All you could smell was sweet ripe strawberries becoming nature's perfume. The year was distant yet near. It kept running away from me, never towards me. I can just remember her simple words, but if only I could focus on them, enough, to remember how she said them.
"The days you spend looking will take away from the days you spend enjoying.? It made no sense to me before, and even though I was starting to understand it more, I was still skeptical on it. How could it possibly take away from the days you spend enjoying. You can't enjoy something, if you haven't found it yet.
I wish I could just go back in time and ask once more. Maybe, if I just had one more chance, she would have listened. Maybe she would have sat me down, and explained it word by word. But she died too soon after that. Granny Ella died two days later. While I was still staying at her produce farm, she died.
That's when I became sad, and depressed. Things for me were never the same. I was used to living at the farm all year long while my parents went out and explored the world I was never going to see. Sometimes they went on trips together, other times the two went to completely different countries, on completely different continents.
I never cared, because I never thought of us as a family. They were only people who needed money, to support two people's dreams. I was never part of any dream, only the dream to grow up and take care of the farm. When Granny died, my parents gave up their dreams, and stayed with me. That's when they realized, they weren't meant for each other.
I guess I had always pretended to not care, but I really did. My parents getting a divorce killed me. Not knowing my parents very well for 13 years was hard. Then having them both around for 2 years, before they decided they didn't love each other was even harder. Did they just travel to hide their secret, that they didn't love each other?
I guess I'd hidden away too much over the past two years. When I moved here, I didn't feel the same love that I used to. That's why I didn't trust love. That's why I couldn't trust myself, because I felt like I was embedded with the same curse my parents were given -- the one that makes them lose the people they love and to finally, just stop loving them.
I felt like the mistake child -- the one that never belongs in the group. I was like that game in the children's menu at a restaurant. Can you find the one that doesn't belong? Well the answer was me. The answer was me. I was just a stupid 15 year old girl, who didn't belong.
But I was in love.
And that wouldn't stop. No matter the curse I was given.
I was in love. I was in love. I was in love.
|
