An anorexic, that's who I was. Annie Anorexic. I didn't have a bad case of it, but bad enough. I didn't eat anything, well, I did, but not enough. My typical eating schedule was as follows:
Breakfast: Key lime pie yogurt and milk.
Lunch: A few pieces of cheese and Ritz crackers.
Dinner: Whatever Mom served on my plate.
Mom or Dad didn't know about it, only my friends because they saw what I ate. "Mary-Anne, eat. You're going to starve yourself," they told me. "I'm just not hungry," I replied, but always thought afterward, "Just until my stomach looks good."
My grades were slipping dramatically. I was on the edge of being put down a grade in my advance math class. My test scores were horrible, and my friends noticed that my outgoing attitude had vanished into thin air.
Four words: I. Was. Killing. Myself.
It wasn't too bad to make that much of a difference, but my friends did notice at school I didn't talk as much, but at home I hid that. I always smiled, talked and laughed, because I had eaten. I ate a full meal.
I still did what I was doing.
It went on for about two mouths until the newsletter from my school came out and listed all the people who were on Honor Roll. I realized that I wasn't on the Honor Roll like I usually was. I hoped that no one would see that.
I was wrong.
"Mary-Anne, how come you didn't get Honor Roll this semester?" asked Hannah. I stumbled for what to say, "I . . . well . . . I . . . I just got a few points below the requirement," I lied.
I felt horrible. My parents knew, but just thought that it was phase.
"Annie, you didn't get Honor Roll, how come?" asked Ondrea. I said the same thing I said to Hannah.
"Mary-Annie!" Alexis called, "You didn't get Honor Roll, I'm sorry." And she hugged me.
"Annie, I saw that you didn't get Honor Roll," said Lizzie. "Yeah I just barely lost it." I remember Lizzie, my very best friend, looking at me her eyes sincere, "Mary-Anne (she said my full name here) what's the matter with you. You're a different person now. I think you're anorexic."
I gasped at that thought. Me, anorexic? How could that be? I was just reducing my eating.
I came across and read a childhood book Mom had given me for Christmas one year. It was a Body Book. I read the article about anorexic girls.
I don't remember the exact wording but it was something like this, "Anorexic Girls will try to eat little as possible and play with their food."
For some reason, I didn't stop myself when I realized what I was doing. I knew I was eating as little as possible, but I didn't think I was becoming anorexic; until I thought it though.
That's me, I thought. I'm becoming anorexic.
The next day at school, I ate a regular meal for lunch. I could tell my friends noticed the big change but didn't say anything. I felt happier, and had more energy during the day. My grades went back up. I was able to stay in my math class and I landed a part of first violin in my orchestra class.
I learned to love my body just the way it was and I learned a very valuable lesson. I will never do this again. I will never criticize people who do this, I will help them.
I'm a new person now, I'm . . .
Mary-Anne (or Annie) the Non-Anorexic Girl.
