I have always been a "mama's girl", there is no question about it. She's been my best friend, my idol, my everything since I can remember. But ever since she began dating again, it seems to be tearing us apart.
Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, but I don't want a new relationship in her life taking away from the great relationship we have always had. It bugs me, yes, I can admit it. And it bugs me when my Dad has girlfriends too, but not to this extent. I'm not as close with my Dad as I am with my Mum, and I probably never will be.
My Mum and my Dad separated when I was 10, and I am now 18. That was 8 years ago, and for those 8 years of her being alone she never dated anybody else. She didn't hate being single, but she wasn't loving it either, and still, I became used to the idea of having a single Mum. Because of that, I always pictured her and I being very close for . . . well, ever.
In July, my Mum began to see an old friend of hers, and they eventually made it official. Now, she is starting to drift away from me more and more. I can't have a conversation with her without her mentioning his name, and it really does hurt me. Like I've said, I do want her to be happy, but it's taking away from what we had.
How am I supposed to cope with this?
Sure, my Dad has had plenty of girlfriends since my parents separated, but as I said, I am not as close with my Dad so it doesn't bug me as much . . . as much.
For a while, I had the thought in my head that my parents would stay together forever, or eventually get back together. Now that I've moved on from that silly idea, a new one has risen. My Mum is supposed to be single and happy, spending time with her immediate family and her close friends because that's the way it has been for so long.
If I mention a boy I like, she has to immediately mention her boyfriend's name, how much she loves him, and how amazing he is.
I don't exactly appreciate this because: a) he doesn't have the best past, and b) even though she's known him since they were teenagers, they didn't start talking until a week or two before they began dating. How is she supposed to know that she loves somebody and wants to marry them that soon?
I feel like I'm talking about 13 year olds saying they're in love.
I'm sure this sounds silly, but I'm also sure there are plenty of other people who have been in my shoes and who have felt the same way I do.
So as I asked myself earlier, how do I cope with this?
Well, at the moment I'm keeping all my negative feelings inside because her happiness goes before mine, that is a given. I know eventually I will have to tell her how I feel, and it may make her upset, but I can't hide it forever.
I cope by talking to my friends about it, especially the ones who have been through similar situations. I also cope by thinking that this is what makes my mum truly happy. I never want to have to say to her, "I told you so," if he breaks her heart. It's a scary thought seeing my Mum upset. But at the same time, horrible as it is, if he does break her heart, she will be mine and my brother's again.
It's a hard situation to deal with, and I want everybody out there who is going through something similar to know that you are not alone.
Everybody has their different ways of dealing with situations, but before you jump into it, you have to think of their happiness, and then think of yours.
For now, she's happy, and I'm coping with it the way I do best. It's hard, and I want her to be my best friend again, but it's time for me to grow up and see that my friends will have to be my best, not always my Mum.
WhomIAm
