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My head is falling off. It must be halfway apart by now and I've walked around this long without even noticing. I know it must be, because thoughts are tumbling out of my ear so fast I don't even remember I had them. Nobody believes me when I tell them I forgot my homework, or that it was Great Aunt Midge's birthday last weekend, or that the garbage needs to go out. They say I have to stop thinking about TV, music and video games or my mind will turn to mush. They didn't tell me it'd start to fall off!
It makes me ugly every morning, too. My hair always seems to want to flip one way, and my eyes are puffy. I realized yesterday that my nose isn't symmetrical - will it slide off the side of my face?? I think my head is a bit too big for my body, but it may just be that I'm forced to look at everything sideways. I'll have to ask my friend in the morning, but she'll have to tilt her head toward me to line up with my ear (which, by the way, sticks out much too far).
The benefit of having a loose head is that, with the new angle of my sights, I'm beginning to see things I never noticed before. Like the way Jeremy's shoulders are starting to stretch his Old Navy t-shirts (it's rather nice-looking), and that sometimes my mom isn't always right. I can tell on her face when she doesn't know what she's doing. I'm a bit disappointed that, at 14, I'm already smarter than my parents. Maybe it's already time for me to start looking after her! I can handle this! Creamed peas, Mom, or jell-o?
I think I have to start buying smaller shoes, because the ones I have are too big for my feet. They must be, because all of a sudden I can't control where my legs are going. I've tripped over three carpets, two laundry baskets, five doorframes, one pet, four people and nine sidewalks just in the past week! My mother's going to hear about this . . . buying my shoes too big. It's like she thinks I'm a sasquatch! I'll just have to wear my flip-flops and hope the snow doesn't give me frostbite.
I'll never survive the volleyball tryouts next week. I'll just be there running around in front of everyone, knocking everything over, my gym clothes too tight, and my head will be flopping around so much I won't even be able to see.
I'll die!
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