I cannot believe it. No words can describe it better than these. How could time kidnap such a bittersweet past? Really, it's only -- and already -- been 365 days since, yet it feels like a lifetime. It's been a year since you left.
When Mom first brought you home back in '99, I had a younger sibling for the very first time (not to mention a bit of a green monster stalking me). A few years later, you were proud of being the reason for the huge "Keep Out" sign guarding my bedroom door. I never the chance to tell you how much I secretly loved all your annoying habits. I understand you were sick, and tired, but why'd you have to leave? They say God wanted his angel back, but couldn't you have told him to wait?
Mario, what I'm trying to get across here, is I miss you. I remember on that crisp, November night, exactly one year ago on this date, when through blurry eyes, I watched. With a thick layer of ghostly paleness having your fragile features concealed, you were a rock upon that hospital bed. Oh, how I remember. I often wonder, if you remember, if remembering is even allowed in heaven.
I remember limping into bed that night, with a pair of rivers flowing down my cheeks, thinking time would hold still because you did.
That I've morphed into a completely different person these past 365 days, is not what scares me. Nor is it the fact that so many of those changes aren't upgrades, but negative. What does terrifies me is that despite my doubts, life continued to move on, even after your time stopped.
You wouldn't believe how much has happened, and I wish you didn't miss it. Were you watching as I had my first kiss? Were you as proud as I over my 96 English average? Were you the one who gathered up the pieces after He broke my heart?
Is that really you in my dreams?
Mario, if you're reading this, know your big sister loves you. November 15th, 2009 marks the first anniversary since your passing, and although the clock managed to consume 365 days this quickly, your memory still stands.
Love,
Labiba
-Socer4eva
