I found The One . . . I think.
He knows almost everything about me. We talk almost every day. He knows my feelings, and I know his. I feel so happy when I'm around him, and just hearing his voice puts me in a slightly better mood. He was there for me when I cried and listened to me spill out my emotions before him. I was there for him when he needed to let things out and vent.
I love him a lot but am I in love with him? Or is this just infatuation? I have no clue. And if it is love, will it last? Or will I end up getting hurt?
So many questions in my head, yet there's so little answers. I feel so helpless.
And I'm scared . . . terrified, even. I don't want to get hurt. I always get hurt, and the pain only increases with each incident. I let him in, which is big for me. I don't like to let people in. I don't like to be vulnerable. I know he loves me, but how much? How much do I even love him? What in the world is love, anyways? I wish it was as easy as it is in the movies. Girl and Boy meet. Girl and Boy get to know one another. Girl and Boy fall hard and fast in love. Girl and Boy live happily ever after, forever and ever. The End. It all seems so simple that I'm envious. Why does my storyline have to be so complex? It's just completely unfair.
I really hope that what I'm feeling isn't infatuation. Even more so, I hope what he's feeling isn't infatuation. That would be completely horrible. Would mutual infatuation be that bad, though? I don't know. I kinda want it to be true love. I'm scared at the same time, though. What if he doesn't love me the same way? I also witnessed some things about love. Bad things. From what I've seen, love fades away after time. It's almost like an hourglass, grains of sand falling to the bottom until there's nothing left. Then what will I do? Am I expected to just pick up my heart and leave? Or can the love come back? I hope with all my life that it can.
I've never been so confused before in my life. No, that's not right. It's not just confusion, more like a blend of emotions hitting me full force. It's an uncomfortable, indescribable feeling. I need an answer. Just a sign of some sort will do. And I want it soon. Too many times I have played with fate through a daisy. I'm in love. I'm not in love. I'm in love. I'm not in love. Magic eight balls don't work either. They're too old and the words come up all illegible. Cloudy.
Is he really in love? Will I ever find out if I am? The answerless questions again. I guess I can only wait for now . . .
