I remember when we first started talking. We didn't know each other outside of the computer, I didn't even know how to spell your first name! But you were Derek's friend, which meant you would be a relatively nice person; so like Derek suggested, we started talking through instant messenger.
Even though we never talked in person, you and I got along really well. We were so much alike it was a little creepy! We both had brown hair and freckles, we both had blue eyes that change green, we both loved the brand "fox", we were both accident prone, we both did crazy stunts, and we had the same sense of humor . . . having so much in common it was easy to talk to you. I could tell you anything and everything and you didn't judge me. You were awesome, and I couldn't wait to finally meet you in person.
We lived in the same town, although we never met. We went to different schools and you were a year younger than me. Finally the year came when you got enrolled in high school . . . MY high school to be exact. I was looking forward to meeting you, finally having a face to go with the person who I considered my friend. I was expecting you to be a slightly nerdy kid . . . not really good looking, but I honestly did not care what you would look like because I was just excited to finally meet you. I had daydreams of hanging out with you and laughing at our accident-prone-ness! Every day at school I tried to figure out which student you were. You sent me a picture to help find you. You didn't look good or anything in the picture, but then again it was a far-away picture and it was hard to tell what you actually looked like. Finally, one day when I was sitting on the bus I heard someone say your name! I looked over and there you were, sitting right across from me! I couldn't believe my eyes! You were gorgeous!
I got carried away.
I tried to hard.
I was stupid.
I was an idiot.
I screwed everything up.
Those are some of the things I thought to myself every day for months after we met in person. You blocked me on instant messenger, you blocked me on Facebook, you wouldn't even talk to me in the hallways at school. I felt heart-broken. Our friendship was ruined all because I started to like you.
I apologized countless times and said I would try my hardest to not be annoying like you said I was. I told you how much I missed our friendship. After one stellar apology, you agreed that we could try be friends again. That didn't last too long though, you found me annoying and blocked me yet again. When I asked why it wasn't working, you told me that I changed.
The funny thing is, I didn't change who I was from those days when we were friends. I can see now that you were the one who changed. You once didn't care about what people thought about you . . . now all you care about is being cool and fitting in with the popular kids in your grade. People would describe you to me as a "jerk" which is totally opposite from what you were before. You aren't the same. I miss the old you.
"I try to get it back but the distance grows I know you feel it too, and I can't act like I don't care cause I do, yeah I do. But I just can't figure it out, I'm not over you." -- Honor Society
I'm not over you, I never will be. You were my friend, then you decided that you wanted to be cool. I just wish we could be friends again!
"But I know we'll never see those days again, and things will never be that way again, but that's just how it goes people change but I know I won't forget you . . ." -- Honor Society
Just when I think I'm getting over you, you have to just walk down the hallway or sit across from me on the bus, look me in the eyes, and smile. I don't get how you can do that after all you've said to me.
Why can't we just be friends again?
I miss you.
-ocean10kv
Author's Note: Sorry if this was a little long, I just needed to let it all out . . . and well to tell you the truth, I didn't even say half of what I wanted to say.
