A year ago, I used to be a really quiet kid. When I first started sixth grade, I was afraid of everyone. I was afraid of how people would look at me and what they would think of me. I normally kept to myself during lunch while everyone else was out on the football field, or out by the tree. I was in a stage of depression because I had no friends. I was the new one. I was the kid who was a tall monster, yet quiet and shy.
Then I went to camp with everyone else in the sixth grade. I was scared no one would accept me. I backed away from all the activities and tried to be as out of everything as possible. I was afraid of messing up and being embarrassed.
Until I went to dinner that one day.
We were in the cafeteria and the table hopper was coming back with the Kool-Aid. I poured myself a glass, while the person across from me, tried to make conversation.
"Are you new here? I don't think you were in fifth grade last year."
"I moved here a month ago. It's a very long--"
That was when the boy next to me (who laughs like no one else) suddenly burst out with laughter. Everyone followed along. When the hilarity died out, I decided to take a drink of my Kool-Aid.
He laughed again.
I spit out my Kool-Aid into my corn. (Insider -- Kool-Aid Corn Soup)
From then on, everyone circling the table were my closest friends.
Ever since, I haven't been so quiet. In fact, now, I yell out every chance I get. At lunch, I'm the loudest kid. You'll see me with my friends, singing some spoof song or creating inside jokes about things we see or do. I'm the girl chasing someone because I want their shoe. I'm the one having a scream fight with another friend. I'm the girl hanging cement blocks on broken tree branches.
And now that I look back, I'm glad I'm loud and don't care what people think of me.
If I was quiet, I would have no one -- except maybe a couple close friends. But I'm not quiet -- and I have dozens of friends that are closer than family to me. Especially one significant other I can call my own.
Quiet? Ha. That's not me. If you went to my school, you would look back to the first week of school and say, "Ha, that wasn't her. That was someone quiet who looks like her."
Every one of my friends loves me like family.
Because I'm not afraid of what people think.
Because I'm not trying to blend in.
Because I am the real me.
The real, loud, random, myself me.
My message is: Everyone seems to be scared of what people think of them.
Don't be shy. Be yourself. Don't be the kid sitting in the corner. The only thing that matters is what you think, not what everyone else does. If people hate you, it's their loss.
Love your life.
~Hannah
