Life. It is honestly the scariest thing I know of. You never know what will happen next. You could die before you finish reading this. Life can be going great and then one minute later your world could crash down on you. That has happened to me before and I am positive it has happened to you. We never really truly know why it just happens. I don't think we will ever know.
There are so many little question in the world that are floating around your head. What will I do this weekend? What am I going to wear today? How many math problems will I have to do today? So many little things. Then there are the huge questions. There are three I think of every single day that will never leave my mind.
Why do people change?
This question I think of every time I enter my room. On my desk is a picture of me and my two friends from first and second grade in a classroom. We are in a perfect row with books in our hands, our smiles are so contagious, and everything in that picture is perfect. I look at my best friend from first grade that not many people know of. She has changed the least out of us three. For five years she has kept almost everything about her the same and in a way it is comforting. Sure we kind of drifted apart but we still see each other in the school halls once in a while.
Then I look at my second grade friend who most know, but it is still a mystery with what they know. His face has changed and now he really does look thirteen instead of seven, like I remember him as. His preferences and shyness has still stayed the same. He could still be my twin from the way he used to do things exactly like me. He did that for fun in second grade and now without him knowing, he is just like me.
Then I look at me. My hair is down to the floor as I am sitting. I am so innocent with everything. If you see that picture and you see me now, we don't look at the same at all. I changed every little thing I could. My hair is now cut, I wear makeup, I have different friends -- everything is just so surprisingly different.
I don't know why we change, but I am sure that all of our changes are for the better. With age we all get smarter and more experienced. We start to look older and now people either gain or lose respect for you. You have become older and people now realize you matter. Or you get too old and people think things can never go back to the way they were because too many years have past. Still out of all of my question this one is the least important.
Why does time change speed?
The way that question is worded throws some people off. How can time really change speed? Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds. Same standards that won't change and yet it does. Time to some can go so slow and then we look back and it went by too fast. Time could go fast and we look back and realize we had so much time and it wasn't fast at all.
To me time is the second most precious thing. The first is in my last question. But why is time so meaningful? You can't buy it and you can never get it back. I hate and love that. I want back my time from the year but if I did something to change it then I might not be here. I might not have these opinions and I might not be writing this very second.
Time can be a scary part of life. By scary I don't mean Halloween scary even though it's that time of year again. I worry about time nonstop. Time goes with everything. How much of the school day is left, how much homework will I have, how long until dinner, on and on and on. When you ask questions a lot of them will involve time in some way because that is just the way humans think.
What is love?
I want to know. Everyone does. There is not one human in the entire world that doesn't care about love and doesn't have someone loving them, I promise that. I know that my parents love me but I can't explain why or how. How do you prove love? You can never be sure who loves you and yet everyone is loved. It is the hardest thing to explain. I stumble through this as you can tell but you try writing what love is. It's my biggest question. I feel it is my purpose just to figure out a little bit of it.
I know I love someone. At thirteen I love someone. I don't know how many people believe that but it is true. I can feel it, know it, and say I am in love, but I can't explain it. I figured it out recently too that I have loved this person forever and I just didn't even know it truly.
Last week I was reading Cass402's article "Who?" She was talking about how much she liked this guy. I realized that my feelings towards my person were so strong and then bam. It hit me like lightning. I was in love. I knew because I suddenly didn't care about my happiness. I cared about his. If I was not the right person for him then I wouldn't care and I would hope and pray that there is someone better than me. That will never go away.
Every question intertwines with one another and goes together. Change, time, love. You say it and it fits perfectly. It takes time to love. Sometimes you realize that your love was wrong and you change. You find love over time and when you find the person you do love, then that can never change. All those words and scenarios together sound strange but it's my mind. I believe that all of this is true.
Now you can start to believe in change, time, and most importantly love.
-Misty
