www.whyville.net Nov 7, 2010 Weekly Issue

Guest Writer

Losing: Part 3

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I'm continuing my search for who I am.

Honestly, that's about it. That's the summary of everything I will ever do in my life. I will keep wandering around looking for who I am. When I find myself, I'll probably ask where I've been all this time. I can't find myself right now, please get back to me later after the beep.


I'm alone, that's part of who I am. Not physically, I have plenty of friends physically, but mentally I am alone. Unstable and alone. I have found that being alone is the worst feeling anyone could possibly imagine, and so I have been helping and caring for others to make sure they are not alone like I am. What's ironic is that everyone seems to believe they know who I am, like they understand any part of my life or the complexities of love triangles (which are pointy and sharp and hurtful by the way). My friends think they really know who I am based on what I do, what I act like, which is a horrible misguidance and completely off of what I actually am.

But who am I, really?

Maybe they do know me better than I know myself. I know what I act like, I'm very realistic with judging what I act like. I'm selfish quite a lot though my intentions are completely opposite. I want to love everyone, and try to make them feel happy to make up for my lack of happiness. I believe no one can help me (aside from God, but I'd rather not debate religion as of now) and so I push away my friends from entering my mind, afraid and ashamed of what lies underneath all this falsehood. But who am I?

I'll figure it out. Or I'll give up and die before I can find the answer. But isn't that what happens with everything in life?

My question to you, if you want to achieve anything out of this short and stumpy article, is: "Who are you?" ~ Lewis Carroll

Author's Note: I honestly didn't think I could pull three articles out of explaining what's been going on. I also don't even understand why it matters so much to even be put into the Times, but apparently it means something to people to hear what's in an insane person's head, so I have decided to quit asking about the subject and enjoy the idea that I let someone into my world. Thank you to the people who read and even responded to this mini series, I am shocked and astounded that I could let a virtual world into my mind, but it feels better.


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