You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I'm nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded.
You, pickin' on the weaker man.
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
You, with your switching sides,
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation.
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you.
I just want to feel okay again.
But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean.
Those are some of the lyrics (the ones that applied to me the most) to the song "Mean" by Taylor Swift. I've listened to it many times, but when I listened to it recently, something shocked me. I realized it described almost exactly one of my best friends. So this is article is what I want to say to her but I don't have the Gryffindor courage that it requires to actually get those words out of my mouth. So, here goes nothing . . .
I am forever in your debt. Without you, I might still be sitting at a table with girls I didn't like at all. I might never have become friends with the two girls who are my other best friends. Most of the things in my life are because of your simple invite to sit with you at lunch.
But, at the same time, many negative things in my life were caused by you. I never had a high self-esteem, but lately it's been becoming lower and lower. I went a year with your insults, a whole year, and maybe they'd sting for a second but then they'd always roll right off me. But now they're getting to me. With every jab at me I feel worse. "You have pointed out my flaws again, as if I don't already see them." That line couldn't be truer. Really, do you think I don't know that I'm not pretty? Do you think I don't know that I'm a complete nerd? That no guys like me? I do. Believe me, I do.
It's one thing to tease me. I mean, my other best friends do all the time. But their words don't sting like yours do. Maybe because they're not as frequent, maybe because . . . I don't know why. But they just don't. Your words have "got me feeling like I'm nothing." I'm always "trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you." And I'm sick of it. I really am. I don't want to have to put up with your never-ending insults.
And it's not only verbal, what you do to me. I'm no stranger to your punches and kicks. Not anything that terrible, but sometimes you really hurt me.
You're also a major hypocrite. If I insult you, if I kick you, you get angry. If I do any of the things you do to me, you get angry. You have absolutely no right to get angry at me for that. If you don't want me to bother you, you shouldn't bother me. We've been taught this since kindergarten: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." So don't insult me, don't hit me. Just don't. I'm done with it, and unless you cut it out, I'm done with you.
I never know if anything you say is true or not. You lie over the littlest things. And you try to tell me you're telling the truth, but I never believe you because, "All you are is mean. And a liar," and quite frankly, I don't like someone who lies that often. You say I don't tell you anything. It's true. It's because you'll make fun of me for it. You tell me everything, but everything is a lie. Maybe our friendship is, too. Because I don't know any friend who makes someone feel this bad. It's because of you that, "I walk with my head down," all the time (and subsequently walk into people). It's all because of you. That's not what a friend does.
So why don't you become a friend to me? Why don't you really let me become your "white sister," like you always call me. All you have to do is be nicer. It's not too late, but soon it will be. Don't let it come to that. Please, don't.
Don't be mean.
-Cassidy.
Author's Note: Taylor Swift "Mean" lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/taylor-swift-mean-lyrics.html
