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You feel alone, you feel like you always mess up; like nothing you ever do is good enough. You make more mistakes than you feel you can handle. You cause problems. And it kills you inside, but why? Will you ever be good enough, ever be perfect, ever live up to that invisible standard?
"Will I ever be good?"
You strive for perfection - perfection that is like a reward, dangling just out of your grasp. You try to be like her, try to live up to that, try to be like that. But why?
"Will I ever be perfect?"
You feel like everything is going nowhere, and it's going there very fast. You feel ashamed, but why? You feel alone, hurt, depressed, uncared for, misunderstood . . .
"Why doesn't anyone understand me?"
You try to convince yourself you?'e depressed. Maybe you are. You may convince yourself you're worthless, you are misunderstood, you are alone. But, why? When you have those you love - those who care for you, cry with you, are happy with you - then why . . .?
"You are more than the choices that you've made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create - you've been remade."
- You are More, Tenth Avenue North
These words remind me that, no matter how many mistakes I make, no matter how many problems I cause: I am more than that. I can change, I do not have to strive for perfection, or live up to anything. My problems have been washed away, and I know that they will not matter in 10 years, 10 days, or even 10 minutes. I can be myself; I can dry the tears and move on, because I have been remade.
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