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When Ellen first got you, I did not like you. You freaked me out, I thought you were the weirdest creature I'd ever seen. I did not like your species, especially after an incident at a petting zoo when I was younger . . . anyways, bottom line was I did not like you. When I went over to Ellen's house, I avoided the barn because I did not want to run into you.
As time went on, I got a little braver. I started venturing into the barn when I'd go to Ellen's house. I started feeling more compassionate towards you. You weren't that scary after all! A bond started to form between us. You were a pretty smart animal, I liked that about you. I remember there was that one day when I subconsciously drummed a rhythm on the side of the barn. You came up and stood on your hind legs and tapped the rhythm back to me beat-for-beat with your hooves. It was at that moment that I decided I liked you a lot, and I could tell by the way you looked at me with those odd eyes, that you liked me too.
You were the best goat in the world. When I would come over, you would follow me everywhere, rubbing up against me until I'd cuddle you lovingly. You were my shadow, when I was at Ellen's you would be right behind me, following me all around the yard. "You're special you know that Kelsey? He doesn't act like this around anyone but you. I swear, you are the only human he actually likes!" Ellen said to me one day. As if to prove it, you came and put your horned head on my shoulder nuzzling me gently.
You and I had a few games that we liked to play. One of our games was play fighting. You would charge at me and I would bow my head and we would fight, and wrestle each other. A girl vs. a goat. You were always gentle with me, you never hurt me with your horns. Another one of our games was "goat riding", I would sit on your back, and you would run around the field. I was light-weight, and you were strong. We were the perfect match.
I remember that horrible day when I heard Ellen's parents talking about how you were a nuisance, how they didn't like you. They didn't want you around anymore. They looked to sell you, but no one wanted to buy an old, fat, stubborn, male goat. Finally they found their solution. My other friend's grandpa offered to get rid of you . . . permanently. He was going to turn you into goat sausages. I couldn't let that happen! I loved you! I couldn't let you die! I begged people to take you, I even arranged for some hippies to steal you, but nothing worked. No one wanted you and the hippies demanded a lot of money for use of their van. So, nothing worked. I myself couldn't take you because of where I lived. Farm animals weren't allowed. I had given up hope.
My friend's grandpa kept saying he was going to come, but he never did. Days went by, weeks, months, a year . . . he didn't come. I thought you were safe. I thought there was nothing to worry about anymore. I doubted that he would ever come to take your life.
But he did.
The shot rang out, the snow was stained red.
You were gone.
Brownie, I am so sorry I didn't try harder to save you. I miss you, and I love you so much, I wish you would come back to me.
But you won't.
Rest in peace Brownie, I will always, always love you.
-ocean10kv
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