Let's face it - everyone has depressing days every once in a while. Everyone gets stressed at least once in their lifetime. My story starts on the day a family friend passed away from breast cancer. Yes, the big 'C'.
We figured out that she was in hospice care a week earlier. I cried frequently, even at school. I donated almost my entire wallet to breast cancer research, and had great friends who supported me. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, they were there.
A week later, we received the news of her passing. As you could have guessed, I cried. And cried. And cried. I was in hysterics for a week, and didn't go to school. By the time I went back to school, I couldn't properly concentrate on work or pay attention clearly. Everything was just . . . different. Math was just a ton of numbers, letters, and symbols jumbled together that made me want to cry. My grade dropped eight points. I felt as though a piece of my heart was ripped out. My friends later described me as having: sunken eyes, pale skin, shaky hands, and less energy.
Anxiety soon appeared as a daily factor in my life. Practically all the stress I've encountered just piled up in the back of my thoughts and haunted me for three months.
After the three months had passed, I finally had a mental breakdown. Everything in the back of my mind was revisited. I cried for four straight hours and thought my life was absolutely terrible. Our family friend, the recession, senior graduation, schoolwork, life guarding paranoia, affording my own 7 dance classes, health care, and even the Whyville BBS all stressed me out. I felt like my life was in ruins by this point.
Weeks after, my best friend's father passed away very suddenly from cardiac arrest. I tried to comfort her as much as possible, hiding the fact that my life was just as stressful. She had let me cry on her shoulder in my time of need, so I let her cry on mine. We were both in a mild state of shock for about four days.
A week after, I took a visit to the doctor. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I'm currently on medication. I frequently cry, sometimes bawl. Occasionally I grit my teeth when having anxiety attacks, which leads to headaches. My headaches make me cry even worse, and sometimes I vomit if I become too stressed. Yes, my life is very hectic right now, but I soon hope that all my problems will be resolved. I see a bright light for my future, and I know that God will take good care of me.
If you should learn anything from my article, I'd like for it to be that anxiety and depression should NOT be taken lightly. Even one word can change the life of a clinically depressed person. "Loser." "Bottle-Blonde" "Stupid" "Annoying". It will haunt a depressed person for their whole life. YOU can change this. Be more careful with what you say over the Internet, and even in real life. Just because someone may not seem depressed doesn't mean they aren't. Sometimes it's hard to tell. The tiniest compliments can brighten my day. When I read through my yearbook signatures the other day, I gathered up so much happiness and for once felt relieved. "You're gorgeous." "Luna, you're a great friend." "You're so pretty and I hope you have the best summer, because you deserve it."
Compliments can go much farther than you think, and so can insults. Please learn to respect everyone else's feelings and to emotionally motivate others. If you suffer from any kinds of issues and you need someone to talk to, I am ALWAYS available. Y-mail me any time, so that I can help you cope/deal with your issues.
Much love,
LunaLolli
