Author's Note: Read Article ID: 11964 to understand this article. I will make reference between the too.
Just kidding. I haven't found the rainbows. I saw a mere glimpse of rainbows. It was almost mocking me, showing me what I don't have or many never have.
Life is funny, I guess. At least that is what I used to think. After figuring out the puzzle of life you are handed a new one without a choice. I just conquered each puzzle and moved on with my life. But life handed me a puzzle I can't figure out. This puzzle seems to have millions of pieces and new ones showed up everyday.
Life is just cruel now. It isn't funny anymore. Life pushed a monster inside of me, without my consent. This monster is something that changed me. This monster pushes tears out of my eyes even when I fight back. The tears remind me of how messed up I am; I don't want them to tell everyone else that.
The rainbows I used to pray and hope for are no longer in my reach. They are a far distanced cloud moving farther and farther away each day. Each day I walk closer and closer to darkness. Every morning I wake up tried of striving to get away. I don't feel like doing anything anymore because I am tried of trying to get away. It is just something I can't do anymore.
I am so messed up, I've realized. I shouldn't be this way, but I am. I shouldn't be pushing my friends further away, but I am. I should be complaining about the rain I am getting where I live, just like everyone else. I'm not.
I've been looking forward to the rain. It gives me a sense of comfort that the world is just like I am -- wanting to let out her tears and curl up into a ball.
I can't do this anymore.
