I am fourteen years old. I have never been in a relationship. I have never kissed a boy. I would much rather spend my Saturday nights with my friends watching Youtube videos and playing Robot Unicorn Attack than I would going to some party and getting drunk.
I guess you could call me your stereotypical, conservative nerd.
There are two main cliques at my school. The popular, perfect preps, and the there are the outcasts. Can you guess what clique I belong to? Yep, that's right. I am an outcast. My entire seventh grade year went like this: go to class, go to lunch, eat by myself, go to the library, go back to class, go home. I am practically anti-social. I have a huge fear a rejection. Before I talk to someone new I think out every single way the conversation may turn out. Just to prevent the person I am conversing with from thinking I am a total freak and making me hated throughout the school.
Eighth grade was most definitely better than seventh. This year I actually have friends. I got some guts and starting talking to a few people. Now I have a group. It's amazing. I hated seventh grade because I was lonely. Now I have people to talk to. I have one friend in particular I feel I can share anything with. During seventh grade I was very depressed, I thought about suicide quite a bit, I cut myself, and I wanted to run away more than anything. Now that I have people to talk to my depression isn't as bad. It isn't gone entirely, but it is shrinking.
There are girls at my school who love making people feel bad. They think they are so great because they talk about people behind their backs and take advantage of others. I loathe those girls. Many of my friends have been targeted by these girls, myself included. These girls most likely only do this because they don't want to look uncool. They want to stay at the top of the social food chain and talking down to others probably makes them feel good about themselves. I hope I am never one of those girls.
I hope to always be the nerd who spends her free time reading a Harry Potter book. I hope to always be the girl who doesn't care what others may think of her. I hope to always be able to be myself.
Love and Pogo Sticks,
Kindgirl9
