It was a not-so-ordinary day out on the lawn of Whyville's City Hall. The sky turned dark and a huge green light beam appeared, taking one unfortunate girl with it.
Let's tune to channel -73 for more information on the murder. Yes, I said negative seventy-three. You've never heard of the negative channels? Wow, you poor deprived people make me want to spit on a panda, and how awful would that be?
What's that up in the sky? It's a bird! It's a plane! NO, it's a group of super heroes! They'll save the day with their . . . uh, dirty pans, hand sanitizer, and, um "hawtness"? Ok, so maybe they're not so super, but hey, they're all we've got. Beggars can't be choosers.
So our un-super heroes started the investigation on Joe's murder. They found a taco, an obvious piece of evidence left after every murder scene, of course. But while they were investigating, one of their team mates, Alex, wandered off and got kidnapped!
Back to channel -73 for the latest news on the kidnapping! Was Alex kidnapped by the same evil-doer who got to Joe? The panda seems to be spazzing out about this whole situation. She either has something to say or has a piece of bamboo stuck in her teeth. I'm gonna go with he second option for lack of caring.
So the now depleted team of un-super heroes continued their investigation of the murder and kidnapping. They followed a mysterious river where they found their latest clue, a dirty diaper! An obvious sign the evil-doer had passed by.
As the super-heroes followed the river, they found *gasp* VOLDEMORT! Who was singing Katy Perry tunes with the kidnapped Alex! And not only has the team of not so super heroes found the elusive evil-doer, but one of our heroes, Bela, seems to have found true love in a shark! Ah! All is well, the case is solved!
What? That doesn't make any sense, you say? Why, it's a murder mystery story, when do these EVER make sense?
And so, Bela and the shark got married and lived happily ever after! But wait! Where's Voldemort? Uh-oh, seems like our "heroes" let him get away. Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. If your town is in trouble, you can count on these imbeciles to be of no help at all.
That's all we have for today! Adios!
-Xoxkitkat
