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Today, I have experienced the emotion psychologists have come to name "jealousy". If someone from another foreign planet asked me to display this emotion in my face on even try to write it down on paper, I'd probably fail drastically because of the fact that this emotion is truly complex and hard to decipher. Dictionary.com tried to express this emotion through words; resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantages itself. This definition isn't exactly "wrong" but hard to envision because you'd have to experience it and feel it in order to accurately comprehend it.
In regards to my own, personal experience with jealousy today, let's just say that it wasn't pleasant. My friend Emilia is amazing and extremely nice. We have been friends since freshman year and now we're going into sophomore year. One of the reasons we had become such good friends was because of our common interests; sports and guys. We would have sleepovers at her house almost every Friday and watch chick flicks until 3 A.M in the morning. We would always comment on how lucky the girls in the chick flicks were (obviously they ended up with the hot, seemingly "unattainable" guy) and we'd always sort of sigh when they ended up locking lips in the end. It was a very solid routine we had developed over time; go to her house, complain about homework, eat a bunch of greasy junk food and then watch chick flicks from sunset to sunrise. Ah yes, it was "perfect" you could almost say; I had my best friend and we had mushy, Hollywood movies to indulge in. And now, to quote a famous book, "That was Then, This is Now" . . .
Now, Emilia has changed. She has a "hot", "unattainable" boyfriend and has even kissed him. Before, both of us had never had our first, real kiss. Now, it's just me. I feel like the whole world is changing and shifting into its previously assigned battle stations, ganging up against me and leaving me all alone and desperate. I feel like Emilia is kind of becoming imperious, unwillingly. I don't even know what to say anymore, I feel like I'll never have that first kiss and I'll remain alone in my "fifteen cats" fantasy. Before, it was Emilia and me that would remain with our cats alone in our combined apartments and now it appears as though it's just me. It seems like life is moving too fast and everyone is getting their first kiss but me.
Point being, Emilia is now indifferent to those chick flicks (probably because she's living in her very own) and I've lost my only true friend that I had confided in from the start about relationship problems or lack thereof.
That's just life I guess and everyone goes through it in their own way. Some with their cats, others with their boyfriends . . .
C'est la vie, c'est la vie.
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