I want to feel the trills of freedom from my awful, thick chains life has locked me in. Live my life without worries or fear of the unknown fate ahead.
Life has been a living nightmare that I can't wake up from. Running is unavailing, but I feel the need to do so. Running from the nightmare that is breathing down my neck and snapping my limbs like twigs. Feeling the pain is better than not feeling something.
Maybe actually feeling nothing will be great. No worries. Just like resting my body on a warm, sandy beach. The soft wind blowing through my curly hair and breathing in the salt coated air. No one around me, no one to hurt me.
Maybe feeling something is what keeps me wanting to be human - wanting to stay alive. I thirst for that feeling of being loved by someone. Feeling the warm arms of someone around me with his hands ready to catch my tears. Dancing on the warm earth and watching the night sky light up with hidden galaxies sounds like a paradise only to be achieved by a small percentage of the human race. The chosen ones.
Running is useless. After all, I should just accept the fact that I can't change. I will always be the lonely girl surround by people who don't care about her. I will always be fighting an ongoing battle against life and death.
People say that I have so much to offer the world, but I don't see it. All I see is a lonely girl who can do nothing right. Who has one true friend who is living a life that I crave. A girl who is suffering on the inside and wanting to climb out of the hole she has dug deep in.
I want someone to hand me a rope and help me to get out of the hole I have created for myself. Pull me out step by step. I want someone to care enough for me to cry along with me while I am in my bowl of sadness.
Sadness, an emotion I seem to have with me so much I am just used to it. I haven't shed tears in months. I haven't had someone wrap their arms around me so tight that I know without a trace of doubt in my mind that they won't leave me alone.
Someone at all. A stranger. A relative. A friend. They are all people to me.
Just help me run.
Author's Note: I debated several times on making this article anonymous. I erased my username so many times and I can't even count. I decided that I probably should. I mean, what is the difference? Might as well accept myself. Please be kind, I am fragile these days.
