I look at you. Your eyes hide the tears you are holding back, or maybe you lost the ability to cry because you have no more tears to shed. The used to be blue eyes of yours no longer display the happiness you had. Sadness has taken over. They say that the eyes are the windows of the soul. If that was true, your eyes tell all.
Your mouth used to smile all the time, looking at it right now it is hard to believe. You seemed to have grasped the constant companion of a frown. The frown only leaves your lifeless face whenever you are around the friend of yours who knows the ins and outs of your precious heart. You have nothing to hide from them.
Your moves are played. Careful with everyone and not let anyone become to close to you. You have been hurt before, so it is understood by the many who know little about the real you. The real you is screeching and begging for help. I often look at your face and can see the real you pleading for help. I wish I could help, I really do.
I am not the only one who wishes they could help, I hope you know that. There is that friend of yours who seems to change depending on who they're with. I could be overreacting on that, but I know that is how you feel. Deep inside her heart, she wants to help you, but doesn't know how.
Look at the person who you most talk to on very scale of communication. He helps. Doesn't he? Do you ever reread the texts you have received from him on your nights of distress. When you ask questions, he gives you answers. When you beg for help, he returns it with a gracious gift of well welcomed help. I know you say you accept it. But do you really?
Do you just brush it off and continue to beg for help from everyone? Are you too lazy to sit down and figure out how to isolate the problem and fix it? Are you so broken that you can't be fix?
Maybe you are just so broken. You are that toy of a child's that got broken and no one cares to fix. You are thrown into the attic and later dug out just to be dumped into the nearby trash can.
I can just see you now. All grown up and still begging for help. He would have probably given up on you by now. He told you how to get help. He probably lead you by the your little fragile hand and set you right down to get help. Did you accept it? No. You probably ran away and claimed you were too broken. He then told you all over again that you aren't broken. You aren't broken because he believes that you aren't. He would tell you that your worth is far above the price of rubies. You looked at him and told him to stop lying. He would tell you over and over again that he doesn't lie. But you didn't believe. Heck, if you believed you would probably end up hurt.
And she? She gave up on you years ago. You were never special to her anyway.
Just accept it, because you are closer to this person then you think. Do you know why?
'Cause it's you.
