www.whyville.net Jan 8, 2012 Weekly Issue


The Dexter Way

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Sup bros! How's it hangin'? My name is Dexter. I like fancy cheese and hardcore music, like . . . like Adele or something. Did you see how I started the conversation there? Yeah, you are probably staring at your screen wondering, "WOW, HE MUST KNOW A LOT ABOUT CONVERSATION!". Well guess what, YOU'RE CORRECT (Don't get use to being it). I'm here to teach you how to pick up chicks. Now get off your butt and follow my instructions!

When you approach a girl, you don't want to give off the wrong impression, like you're needy or desperate. Be COOL. CHILLAX BRO, you got this! The way to a lady's heart is through your words. That's pretty deep, you should probably write that down. So when you approach a chick, compliment her.

Compliments make the ladies knees turn to jelly. Next, you're going to want to drop a couple of pick up lines to break the ice. You just met the girl, why not show her how smooth you are. Like butter.

Show her how proud you are. Woo her with your impressive self confidence.

If you're not too confident in yourself just yet, use the shier approach. Ladies love guys who are sensitive.

Or you can use the Shire approach.

All of these are full proof methods. You will, and I guarantee that you WILL . . . get some sort of response. Now once you've bonded with the lady, she will feel more comfortable around you. I suggest you move closer. They'll know that you are calm and approachable, so they will be calm and approachable.

Now that you're both comfortable, it's time to spread out the tablecloth and arrange your favorite china because it's time to ask the lady on a date! Come back next time to learn the secret to a perfect date. What, you thought I was going to tell you now? Impatient troll, you can wait.

DEXTER,
OUT.

 

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