SUP MA BROTHERS! Did you miss me? Thought so. As you know, last week I taught you how to approach a girl. Well this week I'm going to teach you how to go on a date. This stage is crucial to any sort of relationship. Take Bella and Jacob for example. She punched him in the face. Did they work out? NO. So there you have it, rule one, don't punch your date in the face.
So the first step to going on a date is asking the girl on a date (DUH HUR). Be confident, because you know that every girl wants you. Call her a cute nickname (girls like that stuff) and then ask her out.
Once that girl falls for your irresistible charm, it's time to get ready for your date. Dress up in your best baggy pants and a concert t-shirt. This look shows the perfect amount of 'I don't care, but I'm still interested'. And don't bother showering. Women like the natural stench of a man. So once you're done getting prepared pick up the lady in your sweet ride.
During the car ride, it's very important to play the music that the lady hates. It shows her that you're rebellious and will do what you want. Girls think that's HOT.
There are many places you can take your date. A junkyard, a farm, a supermarket, a drug store, an animal hospital. All these are quality spots. Today I'll be taking the lady to a play. I wanted to go to the hopscotch convention that was in town but I accidentally bought tickets to a play instead. Luckily I'm taking her to a classic romance, "Romeo and Juliet". Everyone knows how it ends, but your date will cry like she's heard it for the first time. You'll be the shoulder to cry on. Bring a towel, you don't want to mess up your sweet concert tee. You spent like, 40 dollars on that.
So once the cry fest is over, it's time for dinner! You could go to a fancy restaurant, but who wants 3 teeny pieces of fish on a plate for 100 dollars? I say take her out to a diner or a fast food place. A very important part during this time of the date is ordering. You need to order for your date. Don't ask her what she wants. If you order for her, it shows how connected you two are and how much you know about her.
After you've gotten your food, take a seat at a table. Another important part about a date is the dinner conversation. You should open the conversation by talking about yourself, and whatever you do, don't let her talk about herself. Once she starts, she'll never stop.
So now the date is done and it's time to drive the lady home. Once you park in front of her house, don't walk her to her front door. Just sit patiently awaiting your goodnight kiss.
And there you have it! The recipe to a perfect date! I'll catch you cats on the flip flop.
LATER!
-Dexter
Author's Note: Thanks to funkchik1, bibi4ever, katiekewl, Ednaprogi, Frnkocean and natnat10 for helping out with our comic!
