Most of you have probably noticed that Grandma barely gives out parts, and when she does it is mostly parts for as you say it . . . "Newbies." Well if you haven't noticed that yet, then you aren't very observant.
Well I know that I've been curious as to why, and if she hoards all the parts to herself and just gives away the ones she doesn't want or something like that. Well guess what? You're going to learn why you can't get parts from a nice old lady. How are you going to learn that, you ask? Well I am going behind the scenes! That's right, Agent Pengwhen is on the case!
*Cue detective music and narrator voice*
It was a breezy cool day, and every Whyvillian was enjoying a day tanning at the Sunroof, or playing at the Beach, every pixelized person except me. I had a new case to check out, and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but it WAS, however, going to smell like a mix of old lady perfume and home made chocolate chip cookies . . .
So, now let's get into the real business and action. The first thing I have to do is get in disguise so Grandma doesn't notice me, I'll be dressing up as her sweet little granddaughter.
Once I get into my disguise I skip to Grandma's house, enjoying the breeze and gentle grass caressing my feet. I soon make it onto Grandma's porch, the wood was hard and hot from the sun.
Why don't I just show you guys? Let me see if I can get this camera working and hooked up.
*CLUNK CLUNK* *BANG!* *MRRRROOOOOOOOOW* oops! Sorry fluffy!
*BOOM!* OUCH MY TOE! Oh wait! I think I got it!
Ah ha! There we go, I think that's working.
Okay, I thought it was time to get into the enemy's territory before Grandma saw me on her porch ruining her plant. So I knocked on the door with a steady "Thud, Thud, Thud!"
Grandma opened the door and greeted me with a "Hi there sweetheart," But the thing that greeted me most was the smell of prune pudding, old lady perfume, the smell of home made cookies, and a old person smell. However, I got right to business.
When I asked her a simple question, she seemed to deny it with an odd hint in her tone, she seemed to want me to get out ASAPI, as soon as possibly imaginable!
She was acting suspicious . . . TOO suspicious in my case. I just had to get back into that house!
I had to wait for the right chance to get in, like if she went out on a stroll or went to go take the cookies out of the oven . . . Until the perfect chance came, she fell into a deep sleep, snoring like a pig. It was my chance! I sneaked in and snooped through her house, and I found perfect evidence that 'Dear old sweetie pie Grandma that gives away parts like crazy' didn't actually give away parts that we give her, and the evidence was laying in a big, brown basket.
This basket was a GOLD MINE! It was full of Miras, and duckys, and doodelles, and so on and so on! The parts in this basket looked like they were even glowing with clams! All of these parts had to be worth AT LEAST 500,000,0 clameroonies together!
Before I could reach out and quickly snatch a really cute Doodelle that Grandma probably wouldn't even use (I get a scar at the thought of Grandma trying to be 'Hip'), I heard Grandma waking up with the sound of 'SNUURRSNUFFLLSSHHNICKLE'-y sounding snort. I had to get out - fast!
So I quickly ran out and went back to my super-secret lair to change out of my disguise back into my official looking clothes. After that, I walked back to Grandma's calmly to tell her that I knew what she's doing and it's wrong.
I had to explain to her a few times that I wasn't talking about her cannibalism that apparently she didn't have, but when she finally understood that I was talking about her secret about hoarding all of our face parts that we wanted to Newbies to have, guess what she did? She unleashed a giant mutant guinea pig on me!!
So Whyvillians, there you got it! Grandma doesn't even GIVE AWAY our parts! She probably just plays dress up in them! And as of right now . . . I'm being chased by a giant mutant guinea pig!
I guess it just proves some secrets are best hidden! Signing out while running away from a giant guinea pig,
-Pengwhen
Author's Note: Thanks to all the BBS posts about Grandma to give me the idea. Also thanks to my guinea pig Fidget for staying still long enough so I can take a picture of him, which doesn't happen much, hence the name.
