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I guess I expected it to happen. You know what I'm talking about. That slow but always present change. Just when you're comfortable, things happen, people change. You're molding yourself bit by bit. Some stay the similar shape they started with, while others seemed to never have been that shape in the first place.
At first, you started talking to me less. Bit by bit, day by day. I wasn't really feeling you being distanced from me, inching away. But you made a new friend, someone to replace me. I didn't really know about it. I thought it was just another of your friends, people I knew but didn't really have a conversation with unless you weren't there and we were all hanging out. I wasn't worried either, because I knew you had several friends other than me.
I still thought no one would ever replace you in my life. A short while, yes, about a year or so, but I knew a lot about you, and you knew a lot about me. It was never boring. I'll admit, I was also making other friends, an old one who came back, but I never thought of replacing you. Then there was this stupid truth game, I don't know why it happened in the first place, but you were keeping a secret, you asked someone if they had told me and they said no. I was curious. I asked you repeatedly, but you didn't tell me. I respected that you needed your privacy, things I didn't need to know, but I was still always curious, since it was about me. I let it go, since you didn't like it when I asked. (To this day, I still don't know.)
Then it got to the point where you didn't talk to me at all. I tried, more than once. For a long time, I tried. Not repeatedly, every day, but at least once a week. No replies. I asked around, you weren't ignoring everyone else, but when you finally did answer, you said you were "away". It still wasn't even close to how we used to be. I wanted to believe you. I wanted to believe that nothing was wrong, that we were still the people we used to be. It almost happened.
Then, you started bashing on things we used to love together. The songs we used to sing together. The shows we used to watch (separately, but together). The movies we used to quote. You just didn't like them anymore, you said you thought about it and thought they were stupid. I felt hurt, but I really didn't try anymore. I still wanted to be your friend, but accepted the fact that you didn't want to be mine. I got used to it. Then I kept seeing you around with him, and I made it so that we couldn't make contact at all. I acted innocent and pretended I didn't do it on purpose. I was so happy when you asked me to be friends again. I thought we would go back to normal. Normal for you and me, at least. Even though you noticed, we still didn't talk. It was over, truly, because you had a new friend. He seemed nice enough, but I didn't like him, because at first I thought he had stolen you from me. Then I realized that wasn't true. You had chosen him over me. I was hurt, I'll admit. I didn't want to deal with it . . . So I removed you from my sight, the best I could. After a week or so of that, I realized I could be happy with and without you.
Today, I thought of you. Not like I completely stopped thinking about you, but I had stopped doing it every day. Today, I really, really thought about you. I realized you didn't do it on purpose. You just started molding your shape, while I stayed the similar shape. Thinking about it now, you and I were glued together, not molded together, so I know why you changed. I'm talking to you again, just a simple comment here and there, but I will never let you back in. Never. Even though growth, development, and change are all parts of life, I still don't want you to grow, develop, and change without me. I don't want us to grow apart again. So this is the last about you you'll ever read from me. I'll never really stop hurting, but it was nice being your friend, H.
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