Writers for The Times have been writing mainly about personal issues these days. I'm not saying that I'm not about to, because that would be a huge lie. But I guess I can say that I've been inspired. Truly inspired. You might be thinking that I'm crazy for thinking this, crazy for believing what I believe in. But you know what, who cares? I definitely don't, but then again, I sort of do. And that's why I understand it. I understand the pain that people go through everyday, and how hard it is to smile nowadays. Don't believe me? Try me.
People don't know me like they think they do. Saying this might make you hesitant, doesn't it? Me sounding awfully cliche, starting off a new paragraph like this. It's true, though. It's not like I'm going through a major haze of depression, or having thoughts of physically hurting myself. But it's just the fact that they just don't know me.
I bet lots of people are like me. Lying a lot, trying to sound like everything's normal when everything is actually terrible. Laughing to reassure people that they're feeling alright. Smiling fake smiles to wipe off any ounce of anything, really. Don't worry, I'm like that, too.
It's not like I want to lie, though. I just hate having people worry. But when they don't worry, it's like I actually want them to care. I want them to be there for me, to give me a hug and say that everything is going to be just fine. But no, no I'm too scared to pull of something so daring. Too scared to ask. Too scared to be okay.
I'm like that, too.
People don't worry about me all that much. Then again, I'm just another spec on this huge planet. I'm not the only person in the world. So, who cares? Not me.
Lie.
See? I'm a liar, too. Maybe I do care, maybe I don't. But truth be told, I could live with the suspense.
I just wanted to say that you're not alone. Maybe you go through a stage like this in your life because of something so petty and useless, but it still had a huge impact on you. Or maybe because you made a huge mistake in your life, and you wish that you would have never made it. Or even better; for no reason at all.
I'm one of those people who just doesn't care, but goes ahead and cares anyway. That probably makes no sense whatsoever, but it's true. Nobody can understand it sometimes, but maybe they can relate to it. Vaguely, though.
I'm here. I'm a person who has been through it all. I'm a person who has been through so much pain that sometimes, it hurts. It hurts to the point of tears sometimes. But I don't care. Nobody knows. But right now, you know.
I may put a smile on my face and laugh, acting like everything's just fine. But you know what, there's nothing fine about me. I'm boring. In fact, too boring. But I try and act as if I'm not, as if I'm bubbly and hyper all the time. Oh well.
I'm a liar, and I'm not exactly proud of it. But at some point in our lives, telling a brilliant lie is better than telling the truth.
Author's Note: I'm just going to say this now; I'm not encouraging anything about lying in this article. Lying is bad, I get it. But sometimes you feel like you just should to make the world go 'round and lie. To put it simply, I'm admitting to everyone that I lie, and if they lie, then they're not alone.
