It's terrible,
this feeling highly intolerable
I can't stand it
this pain that won't wash away.
I always wonder if people will care
if I get up and disappear
away from this world,
gone with the wind and
out of sight
Sometimes I wish
that I was never here
I always wonder what life would be like
if I was never born
How it would be,
how people would act
Would there be a difference at all
without my presence?
I'm useless and unwanted
I'm hurt, pain terribly inflicted
Do I have to be here?
Do I have to pretend?
It's always like that
just wondering, over-thinking
Always panicking
Always crying
Always empty
I strive for change
I reach out for opportunities
Sometimes I call out for a chance
although I'm never acknowledged,
never taken seriously
always thought of using sarcasm
Like a bullet through my head,
a stab into my back,
and hands around my neck,
it is anything but happiness
I'm tortured lots,
but nobody knows.
It's mentally,
it's physically,
it's verbally.
It's everywhere I look;
everything I'm afraid of
just there, watching me
It's terrible,
these emotions too overwhelming
I can't stand it
these scars that just won't go away