Dear Footy:
We were going to Portland, Oregon. The state was one of the greenest places I'd ever gone to, and I was enjoying the view. Then, in the midst of all our, my siblings and I, talking, my mom drew our attention to you. At first, you were just a weirdo sticking your foot out your truck window while you drove. But then you became something that I thought strangely amusing. It was funny, and though I mostly focused on your silly foot, I did see your nonchalant look as you cast a glance at us. Had you heard our laughing? I wondered if somehow, you had just stuck your foot out for attention.
You were the first of the peculiar characters that I would find on the trip. Even if you were a little creepy, you were one of my favorite oddballs, although it is a bit unsettling to see a bare foot sticking out while one is driving.
I don't know when I exactly used the nickname of Footy for you. It just seemed right. Many times, including currently, I still break out laughing when someone mentions you. I even made a song about you, sung to the tune of "Amazing Grace":
Amazing Footy,
How footy the foot . . .
On the first day of school, I heard some music on the car radio and suddenly decided that all songs were dedicated to you, a.k.a "Footy." Also, I tried to convince my siblings that you hid in the corner of my Language Arts class as well as my Math and Science class, stealing lunches and sticking your foot out the door. A few days ago I even made up the religion of Footyism and became a Footyist! To "worship" you, Footy, Footyists put their feet out with no shoes. I abandoned it, but it's good knowing people like your foot, right?
I sound crazy, but this is all because of your footly humor. Though this probably won't get in the Times and you won't read it anyway, you're hilarious . . . well, your foot sticking out of the truck window is.
People would probably know you as fifty something Caucasian man with a gray beard, sunglasses, and baseball cap, but to me, you are Footy!
Sincerely,
Bopitybop
