I can't stop pleading
wishing I was
wishing the world had an ask box
so all the questions we left unanswered
could have partners
we'd be dancers
we'd we authors
we'd be satisfied at last

I'd know why I can't punch you through
the page
the words
I'd know why
wisdom comes with age
not experience
not love
not passion
why we respect
the ticking of a clock and
we ignore the pounding of our heartbeat

I feel like I'm asking for it all
all of it, now
but I just want the right to -
I just want to write.
and know I deserve it
can serve it out
dole my words and have the world listen
and deserve
deserve that attention
I get so nervous
every time
I feel like a fraud

so much to be said and I don't even know
where to look for a beginning.
I don't even think
I can pronounce it the end
who gives you the power
to say it's the end
to know that it's over.

I don't
I don't ever
I just get tired and think maybe
four am is a good time
to try to sleep.
most of my endings are goodnights.

I don't think I can call that
a trait of a poet.
I wouldn't
if I were in charge,
I wouldn't let myself be a poet.