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You were there when I cried for hours over the phone. You were there when I had no faith in myself. You were there when I didn't want to smile, yet you always managed to make me. But what happened? What happened to that boy? The boy that held me in his arms as if I was his world. You'd look at me like I was your everything. You were the one holding my hand as if you were never going to let go. You . . . you were mine.
I remember the day, three years ago from today. I didn't want to leave you, but most importantly, I didn't want you to leave me. When you left me, I ran and I ran. I thought maybe someone would eventually stop me and tell me this was all a dream. The sad part was, it was real, this was all real.
Walking into the hospital that Tuesday evening and having your mother rush me into her arms. I couldn't stop myself from crying. And today, we walked together to your grave. Your mother is strong, very strong. She's stronger than me, I didn't want to leave. I felt like you were listening to every word I said, holding a box of tissues with my name on it.
R.I.P Ryan, you are everything to me. I miss your cardigans, especially the one with stripes I use to call the sedimentary sweater. I miss your laugh and your brown eyes. Remember our treehouse we built in fifth grade? Everyone, and I mean everyone calls it Ryan's tree. We had our first kiss in there. I will never forget how you said my lips tasted like strawberry. You were my first boyfriend, and I wished you were my last. I love you, and you will always have a special place in my heart.
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