The sad realization creeps about that the ones I dearly care for are unknowingly holding me back. You've kept me well-sheltered to the point of naivety. And now, as senior year looms ominously, I'm left in a storm of uncertainty.
The colleges I'm yearning after are all at a distance. When I even mention my future hopes, it falls on deaf ears. You pretend like you're listening, like you're pondering it over. But I see through that facade, to the desperation within you.
All my life you've left me in your nest. Rarely letting me out to experience the big world out there. All I've seen is a little tiny puddle in the endless ocean of life.
Never mind such a colossal topic like my future, when it takes so much pleading to let me out of the house in general. Your cocoon of love has surely been mutated, suffocating the development of the poor caterpillar inside. When will I receive my wings to go off in the distance?
You joke around with my sisters about marriage and children, yet to can't bare the idea of me moving out for college? These contradictions of yours leave me unsettled. How can I map out my route to medical school and beyond, when we cannot come to agreement.
And why is it that you are struggling so much to keep me close? I'm here with you now and I just stay in my room. If I were to leave, there'd hardly be a difference. You on that cream-colored sofa in the living room , and me underneath the blanket of the oak bunk-bed, a stagnation that needs to change.
Your motherly love that used to bring joy to my heart, is now what is entrapping me from my future, my life. It's not like I'll leave you with no looking back. I've already compromised my dreams and yet you stay dogmatic. You won't let me leave the state, and now you won't let me leave the city?
Those many letters and booklets from colleges and universities I watch you conveniently throw away. And when I do get my hands on them and read them, you look at me questioningly. Is it such a surprise to you that I'm concerned with the future? I've always been the worrier and planner as you've come to know.
I love you dearly, but I think it's time you let me grow.
