Meet Steve. She (yes, she) touched our hearts with her many stories of humor and woe. It's certainly safe to say that the name fits with this character. But before we can amuse you with her current happenings, let's touch up on her --- interesting --- upbringing. And no, we're not referring to the birds and the bees.
As you can see from the poor, blood-shot eyes of a dejected mother, Steve was supposed to be a boy, hence her name. The horrified passer-by and the highly-qualified nurse who mysteriously appeared for the birthing, were definitely no help for the poor sap. While you might feel bad for Steve now, keep in mind that a wise man once said "Things only get worse from here. . ."
This proved to be the epitome of Steve's life, as the poor soul was quickly thrown to the streets, per suggestion of a random passer-by. Fortunately/unfortunately, however you want to look at it, baby Steve cleverly evaded sudden death.
*Countless "accidental" traumas, endured by Steve, later...*
The time had come for Steve's very first prom and it was eventful, to say the least! Popular airhead, Melanie, hoping to win everyone's votes for Prom Queen, threw a pool mixer for all (the pretty people), like friends Trent and the Mysterious Hat of Doom, prior to prom. Steve figured she was pretty, kind of, so she decided to go.
However, Melanie's specific "pretty" qualifications were no match for witty Steve, who wormed her way in. She was, after all, on a mission for her dream date. Of course, it didn't end well for Steve after she unknowingly entrenched upon Melanie?s equally popular man, Trent, and drooled in the process.
After her failed attempts with jockhead, Trent, Steve decided to pursue a bodacious brunette at the beach. Her pick-up line must not have enticed the brunette, as shown by his lack of response and then fleeing for his life.
Prom day finally came around and Steve somehow managed to scrounge herself up a date! It was common knowledge that you HAD to eat at "Le Fancy Restaurant", as per prom tradition. This part of the plan did not end well for Steve, who the hostess assumed was a man over the phone. Poor "imposter" Steve was escorted off the premises while her mysterious date remained in the powder room doing who knows what. . .
Following the scheme of things, Steve's arrival to the club wasn't at all a smooth ride (all puns intended). While Melanie was literally swept off her feet, Steve's date rushed inside, ditching her at the altar.
Through all the mishaps of the week, Steve finally made it to prom with her mysterious and classy date, cousin Nancy. Trent and Melanie were crowned King and Queen while poor Steve spent the night trying not to look at Nancy's toe wart scars. So, if you came here looking for the secrets to a perfect prom, you may want to look elsewhere...
But hey, if you came to revel in this child's misfortune, you came to the right place! Join us next week for Steve's next wacky tale!
Note From Steve: A big thank you and sincerest apologies for the unfortunate, unsuspecting souls on the receiving end of my devilish, flirty ways.
Authors' Note: A big thank you to "The Mysterious Hat of Doom" for her guest appearance. ;)
