Did you ever realize my emotions? Did you ever notice that I'm trying my best to be my best? You didn't seem to realize how alone I am. I hate the way everybody looks at me. Everyone seems to see me as the freak with no life. What they don't realize is, the reason I don't have time is due to having depression and trying to avoid all the stares I get.
I get all these disgusted looks in the hallway. I hate the way I look and talk. I feel alone due to all the stares. I started writing hoping I could vent but now I'm being told to stop writing and have fun. To me, writing is fun. I hate social events since I hate being the center of attention which I always am because I'm ugly. It doesn't help, I keep finding letters telling me to die which I have wanted to do since I started high school.
I'm alone in how I feel. Everyone thinks I'm just odd. I'm not odd; I just handle all this anymore. I feel like screaming sometimes. I wish all these people would leave me alone. Have you ever realized that I'm not my old self anymore? Everyone is trying to change me into a "proper, popular girl". However, all they've done is cause me to look at myself with scorn.
I know I'm fat, but I don't know all these people calling me obese or telling me to lose weight. I know I'm the best I can and will ever be. Now with summer coming, I'm listening to how I need a new bathing suit. However, I don't want a new bathing suit. I'm not going anywhere new a pool. I will look awful in a bathing suit and/or shorts. I'm still wearing yoga pants even in this 90 degree weather. I'm looking forward to winter since I can wear jeans which I feel comfortable in. I bet you haven't realized how you're pulling me into a ditch that I can't escape out of. Next time, think before you speak.
Author's Note: I know I'm not perfect. However, I'm the best I can be.
