The second week of October marks four months since I last saw you at the final Saturday dance recital, the day I'd awkwardly handed you that gift card and a little 'Thank You' note that could never come close to expressing my true gratitude. I know it didn't seem like it, but I spent all week trying to find the words to tell you how grateful I was for everything, the words to say good-bye. They never came. Eventually time ran out, and I frantically scribbled out a weak 2 sentences: one being a generic 'Thank You' message and the other some stupid joke about how even though I hated hip-hop, I still had fun. How much of a jerk am I? You're gone now and I doubt we'll ever see each other again, but I just have to say thank you. You left too much of an impact to leave things unsaid.
Thank you for being supportive when I was feeling small. For bringing me up when I was feeling down and giving the best advice when no one else would lend encouraging words. Thank you for helping me to see a better me.
I remember the first year I wanted to try out for the competition team, giving nervous rants to a friend about putting my name on that audition list. What if I didn't make it? Then you came in from the other studio, it was the first year I had your class and didn't connect to you that well yet, so it was a little unexpected when you surprisingly asked, "You want to tryout?". I gave a little chuckle, embarrassed about being overheard and gave a reluctant "Yeah". You took me by the shoulder with a smile and told me you were positive I would make it with all the reasons why, and my self-esteem suddenly skyrocketed. It meant so much more than the generic words of my friends, especially when you told me with a whisper and a laugh that you'd been discouraging a few others who asked so tryouts wouldn't be like a cattle car.
Thank you so much for being the catalyst for the best experience of my life. Although you weren't judging, I made the team. After doubting myself the whole way, you helped me to see strength in myself when I never could. If I'm ever discouraging myself from going after something I want, your empowering words come back to me and, win or lose, I'll know I had the courage to try. Thank you for making me a stronger person.
Thank you for being the best teacher I ever had. You've taught me so much, not only about dance but about myself. Thank you for being understanding when I was struggling and for your awesome innovative ways of getting me to see things in a different light.
When the time came for me to start taking my first ever competition classes, I quickly learned that I was behind everyone else who had been competing since they were 3. This was a whole other level from the recreational classes. While some teachers yelled, made me the embarrassing example of what not to do, or simply ignored me while shaking their heads, you didn't look at me like a failure or give up on me. It was axle turns in particular, I'll remember it forever. I'd never been taught them before and looked kind of like a jellyfish impersonating a flying squirrel-- it wasn't pretty. You showed me what to do with a positive attitude and because of this I caught on quick. The next week when we were doing axle turns again, you noticed some of the older girls were getting lazy with them and you picked me out and told me to do my axle for the class, as the positive example.
That moment lit a spark in me, to work harder than I already had been so I could do everything else just as well, and today I can confidently say that I'm on the same level as the other girls on the team. Thank you for bringing out the best in me.
Thank you for that embarrassing moment when you took me out on stage in front of everyone during a competition break when no one else was practicing so I could feel comfortable when it actually came time to do my solo. Thank you for that first place trophy. Thank you for the memories, for the laughs, for the pom-pom fights, and for the times we would eat chocolate and cheese puffs at 9 P.M at night after a long day even though we should've still been dancing. And thank you for not only being a teacher, but a role model and a friend.
I'm sorry I couldn't find the words to tell you four months ago and I wish there was a way to let you know now, but thank you, for real.
