"Jake . . ." My mom said crying. "Your grandma . . ." she paused. "She is dead."
I remember it like it was just yesterday . . .
I had just gotten home from kindergarten when I realized that something wasn't right. My grandma's friends were in my driveway crying. Since I was so young, I was clueless as to what was going on. Why was my mom home so early? Why were my grandma's friends at my house? Why was everybody crying? I didn't have the slightest clue . . . until I entered my house.
That's when I found out. My mom was barely able to spit out the words, but she managed. "Your grandma . . . she is dead." The words hit me like nobody could imagine. She was my grandma. How could she be dead? I had just seen her the day before! I was speechless, as any other 5 year old would probably be. I did the only thing that I could do. Cry.
I vaguely remember hugging my dad who was also shedding a tear, which I had never seen before. I was trying everything I could to comfort myself. It was impossible. My mom was crying. My dad was crying. The world had turned upside down in a blink of an eye. I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd never stop crying after losing the person who was the most important to me and who was always there for me. She was the person I loved most, and she didn't deserve to die! Her 70th birthday was just days away!
After days of bawling my eyes out, I had finally accepted the fact that my grandma, the best person in my life, was gone. I still wondered if this is all a terrible dream. But it wasn't. This was for real. Next came the wake. I walked into the beautiful building confused and not knowing what to expect. I wandered around a bit until I saw my grandma. There she was, surrounded by flowers and lying in her coffin. I remember climbing up to see my grandmother lying there lifeless. This was my last chance to say goodbye. I remember planting a kiss on her cheek. Although she was dead, she was still my grandma, and I still loved her.
A couple of days later, I attended my first funeral. The mass was dreadful. That was ok, though. After all, the mass was dedicated to my Grandma. After mass concluded, I entered the car for what seemed like the longest car ride ever. I knew that once my grandma was buried, I'd have to let her go. The problem was that I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold on forever. We arrived at the cemetery after what seemed like years. I watched as my grandmother's coffin was placed on a table. This was the end. She was lowered down beneath the Earth's surface, In my mind I had finally said goodbye. I let go.
Now, 8 years later, I still love my grandma. She may not physically be here, but the impact that she made on my life remains and will never leave. I know she is up in Heaven watching over me and my family. That's the kind of person she was. Caring, loving, kind, and selfless. I hope you have a happy birthday Grandma. Hope you are partying upstairs with Grandpa. I can't wait to see you again when I die. I love you.
