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My chest feels heavy, my breaths coming out slow and forced. I had just turned off the alarm on my phone, it's halfway underneath my side. My legs feel like lead, acting as an anchor to keep me in my bed. My fingers grab on my duvet, eyes squeezing shut in effort. Eyes flit around the room, attempting to find motivation in the soft pastel colors.
Sounds of a gothic band fill the house, my mother's newest obsession. I nearly roll my eyes, sick of hearing this album numerous times a day since last month. I block out the sound, focusing on finding a way out.
Pursing my lips, I stare down at my beloved covers. They keep me content and warm, making it hard to leave. A sigh escapes, reaching to push them off. After doing so, I groan and turn on my side, curling into a fetal position. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this.
I lay limp on my mattress, occasionally shivering or frowning. The slightly opened door swings open, my black dog huffing and jumping onto the bed to cuddle with me. I swear, petting it's head while it nuzzles up to me, throwing a paw onto my stomach to keep me warm.
A half an hour later, the black dog has finally removed it's limb. I'm now lying on my back, staring up at the off-white ceiling and the upper corners of the lavender walls. My breathing is coming more naturally now, no longer requiring conscious effort. Staring warily at the carpet, I wriggle closer to the edge of the bed. I let out a huff as I nudge my leg off the mattress, watching it sway slightly before settling.
Turning my torso, I accidentally rustle the dog, who let out a groan before jumping off and trotting away. Next is my left leg, now swaying alongside the other. A smile nearly threatens my lips, but I refuse and return to pushing myself off.
When the pads of my feet meet the soft carpet, I nearly rejoice. Slugging out the door, I head to the kitchen to fix up a coffee. My mother is there, humming to the music while drinking one herself. She stares up at me in surprise, blinking slightly before observing that I'm up earlier than usual.
I don't force back the smile this time, my eyes crinkling as I respond, "I know."
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