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People have always said it's not easy being a teenager. You've got high school, friends, bullies, enemies, drama, boyfriends and girlfriends, breakups . . . It's a never-ending swirl of stress and built-up emotions. Some people handle it differently than others, but there's no denying it's hard on everyone. Now being almost 20 years old, Whyville has always been one of my releases. I've made wonderful friends on here, some still come online, some don't. I'm thankful for every one of them, because they've all helped me in some way. Near or far, a friend is a friend no matter what.
I also have an account on a website called Tumblr, which is another one of my releases. I've also made wonderful friends there, and I love reading through my feed. But, every now and then, I see posts that romanticize and glorify mental illness, and that's not something I'm okay with. "I'm so depressed," or "I'm so bipolar sometimes," get dropped daily by people who don't even really realize what they're saying. To this day, people just don't understand mental illness and how it can totally plague someone's life. People claim they're "bipolar" if they have a sudden mood swing. People claim they're "depressed" if they've had a bad day or two, not really knowing how severe the actual illnesses are. I talk from experience.
During high school, I was diagnosed with depression. I was sad almost all the time, and if it was bad enough, I'd have to leave class and talk to the school psychiatrist. He was a wonderful man who really helped me throughout high school. I was on medicine as well, but after a while, I started to feel worse and my mood swings got worse and more frequent. After graduation, I went back to a psychiatrist, and they ended up re-diagnosing me with bipolar disorder. It runs in my family, and I had heard it was hereditary, but it still hit me like a slap in the face. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to act normal with friends and family. I didn't want to change moods so often. I didn't want to feel crazy.
For a few months, I declined medication. I wanted to be able to fix myself, which I knew was irrational. I went day by day, ruining relationships and friendships because of my actions. I lost friends, and I lost potential boyfriends. I really liked a guy, but every time something wasn't perfect I'd snap and create a huge mess, and some nights I wouldn't even remember saying some of the things I did. It got really bad, to the point where I had no one. I would stare at my phone all day, and receive nothing because I lost all of the people I used to talk to. So finally I decided enough was enough. I sought help, because I knew I was passed the point of no return. Since then, I've been on medication and I still see my psych a few days out of every month, and I've been really pleased with the progress I've made.
Basically, I wanted to share my story to shed some light who have someone in their life that is bipolar, or to help someone that might be struggling with it. If someone acts out out of nowhere, don't leave them. I understand some situations are different, but generally speaking. If someone is bipolar and is acting out towards you, I promise most of the time they don't mean what they're saying. I know I never did.
If you really care for someone who is struggling, I promise if you stay with them and try to help them through it, (and in some situations, try and help them get help) that things will get better. If you personally are struggling with bipolar, don't hate yourself. If you act out, and someone you care for leaves you, they don't deserve you. A friend or significant other should stick by you through thick and thin. The people that left me, I ended up realizing I was better off without. They all knew I had bipolar disorder, and never once tried to help me. They just left as soon as it was convenient for them. But, if you are struggling with this crippling disease, get help. I promise that it'll help. Don't force yourself to live this way. You deserve happiness, as everyone does. I support you. Surround yourself with people who do, and will help you when you have an episode, rather than up and leave you.
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