Author's Note: These are not real tweets and were made using simitator.com. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Ah, yes. We have all had our fair share of BAD, SUBSTANDARD, POOR, INFERIOR, SECOND-RATE, UNSATISFACTORY, INADEQUATE, UNACCEPTABLE reality shows! But there's something new on the TV scene and you guessed it -- there's going to be a new reality show just about your fave A-List local Whyville celeb, Jakey Joe!!
Okay, okay, cool it. It's okay . . . it's just only going to be the BEST reality show around. Here are three steps to calming down:
1) Download 15 more pictures of my face to change your phone wallpaper every time a new episode rolls around
2) Literally roll around, preferably on a $2,000 dollar fur rug
3) Listen to my #sassybae do one of her makeup tutorial podcasts every day at 9 and 5
Now that you're hopefully calmed down with only minor hyperventilating/tears of joy/shrieks, it's time to tell you all about this new show. Here's the official description:
"24-year-old Jakey Joe is a budding A-Lister whose dreams came true when he joined the modeling industry at 19 to nurture his dwindling self-confidence. Six years later, he is a successful model for the likes of Manderful Men, Men's Makeup Magazine (only once, and never again), Fashion Fiesta, and Beachside Baes. Follow Jakey Joe's continuous rise to house-hold name fame as he lives life with his family, his friends, his sassy bae, and the people who made his dream come true. From proposal planning to brother Twitter feuds, you'll laugh and cry as Jakey Joe sees through the progression of HIS life and no one else's."
But alas, there are ALWAYS going to be NEGATIVE people. So HERE are some of the most DEGRADING tweets people have tweeted about my show.
Um, what does "Tori Taylor" know? SHE DOESN'T KNOW MY LIFE. Get off your high horse because the view up there must royally suck.
Someone call the DOCTOR because we have someone with HAPPINESS DEFICIENCY. Also this guy has a profile picture of a bathroom so he probably shouldn't be taken seriously.
I don't know what this old lady's problem is, but first things first, WHY is a GRANDMA here???
And here are the most praising tweets from my number one fans:
Thank you so much, dog man! It means a lot to know that not only will you be enjoying my show, you've been enjoying my book!
This fan club DESERVES my attention. I'M COMING TO BRAZIL! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Because self-confidence NEVER hurts.
So as my show starts to air on channel 111 after the 7 o'clock news hosted by Jammy Oh, I will write WEEKLY recaps of each episode for you Whyville Citizens to enjoy. Yes, there will be "Behind the Scenes". Yes, there will be interviews. Yes, there will be a lot of the inner monologue that I have inside my head that I just can't say out loud. And YES, there will be HEARTBREAK, DRAMA, LOVE, FAMILY, FRIENDS, and LOTS and LOTS of FEELS. Tune in EVERY Wednesday at 8/7 central, channel 111! And to celebrate this amazing step in life, I will be giving out 50k to the first person to y-mail me "#jakeyjoe".
Thank you, Whyville, and GOOD RIDDANCE. Um, I mean, GOOD NIGHT.
Stay JakeyJoe,
JakeyJoe
