??coutez moi parce que je suis si beau (Listen to me because I am so beautiful)
Art Tips from the Master's Brother
by Grenouille
Far-flung Correspondent
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Yes, it is true. I am Akbar's brother Grenouille. If you feel you must
pronounce it, it is, "Gren-wee". Sure I have a French accent, even though
I am not French. What of it? I went to a big, famous art school in France.
That's close enough.
I called Akbar from my studio in Paris last night, and he told me that his
business was booming thanks to the new Face Factory. Seems like he's been
getting a whole lot of stuff from you guys and most of it looks really
groovy. He says that the parts that sell the quickest are the pieces that
are drawn carefully, with an eye for detail.
'Ere I am tanning my powerful pecs at the Eiffel Tower.
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So, since I am an artist, I went in there and tried it myself. At first, it
was a little hard to get used to... but with practice (along with the fact
that I am classically trained in the art of body part making), I was able to
create a masterpiece. Yes, it was beautiful. I have tears in my eyes just
remembering the sheer perfection of that nose ring. Of course, I could not
actually submit a body part of such exquisite beauty. It would have made
all of you poor Whyvillians ...how shall I say...weep with the shame of your
inability to make such a beautiful nose ring. Plus, my computer crashed
before I could hit the submit button.
After I rebooted, I went into Akbar's and took a look at the parts for sale.
Many parts were drawn very well but some of them could use a bit of
constructive criticism. And, criticism just happens to be another thing
that I am very good at.
First of all, I just think that a lot of you could
slooooow down a little and draw things more carefully. Nobody wants to wear a
messy ear or really sloppy hair buns around all day. Why not take your time
and draw your part neatly? I have heard from a very reliable source that
Akbar might be opening up a very elite boutique where he will showcase only
the BEST of the best in body parts. You won't stand a chance if your parts
are all whacked out.
So, do yourself a favor and be a little more careful.
(That means erasing any stray pixels AND checking the reduced versions for
"degeneration". When the picture gets smaller, it doesn't look as clear as
it did when you first drew it. So you have to go in and clean it up by hand
before you submit it. This is the number one reason why Akbar rejects
items. Some of them just look El Stinko (that's French for "bad") when they
get reduced. That's why it's your job to fix them.)
If you make a face part (hair, eyes, mouth etc.) make sure that you buy a
big enough canvas to draw it on. Don't be cheap -- because if your part is
too small, it will be rejected. The parts have to fit on a full size
Whyhead. I, myself, would never purchase a puny eye to stick on my head.
There's nothing good looking about that. How embarrassing. So be sure to
make parts that fit a typical Whyvillian head. You can test it out on your
own face right there in the Face Factory.
Last of all, remember to price your part and give it a name before you
submit it. A lot of you are forgetting to do this. You can't make a living
giving away free hairdo's... believe me I've tried.
Oh, wait, one last thing. Akbar says he's got a glut of face glitter. So,
no more face glitter for a while, yes?
Bonjour my little Whyville people whom I will from now on call, "mes petits
??tudiants gluants d'art de Whyville".
-Grenouille
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