You probably have read some articles by me in the Times, chatted with me on Whyville, or have heard about me from a friend. Here and now, my secret is out.
However, how many of you take the time to examine before you think or judge? Perhaps what I am about to explain will give you a different perspective on the topic that's become known around Whyville as 'choice verses nature'. Several of the related articles delineate opinions on whether the lifestyle itself is right or wrong, or whether the original author portrayed both sides of the argument respectfully. Nevertheless, none of the articles spoke about trials and tribulations of being a gay teenager.
It is difficult to actually pinpoint the exact time a person is aware of his or her sexual orientation. Probably at an age where you are able to fully comprehend and be aware of the situation. I know of a person who knew at the age of 11, but for me it was after that. At least, I accepted myself at some point after that age. Before I actually came to the realization, I went through a difficult time. I struggled with myself and questioned if I was going through a "phase" or if I was making this up myself. Nevertheless, over time you come to grips with yourself.
The struggle of having to come out and explain yourself can be challenging. Think of people on Whyville who disagree with the situation -- imagine having to go through a reenactment of that with a parent, friend, cousin, or sibling. The fear of being rejected or unloved is very real and intense. Whereas some people find this process somewhat tractable, others have quite a difficult time. In my life, some people know about my feelings, while others are unaware. I do not necessarily believe I have to tell everyone right away, but I've notified those who I am close to, and those I know who will still be accepting of me.
I suppose I'm secure in saying that many if not most people on Whyville know about me, and that is quite all right. At first, I began slowly telling people that I had become good friends with, but suddenly it turned into gossip. Believe it or not, I was even a household name, just because of my orientation. Someone explained to me once that she had learned about me through a friend over the telephone.
Of course there have been those who find my inclinations disgusting or immoral -- however, I only have a problem with those who express their feelings in ignorant ways. I do not find their dislike offensive. In fact, I feel more sorry for the other person. For example, many girls will approach me asking to date. I will say no, and explain my reasoning and they will flee to the opposite end of the chat room squealing "ew" or "you're gross". Back up there! Didn't you want to date me a minute ago?
For those who show support, I am forever grateful. It is refreshing to hear some positive things about yourself rather than listen to people put you down. Sadly, this is life, and I have learned to accept that I possibly could be taunted. It is true that this is a delicate matter, but one day I hope that society, as a whole, will learn to accept and understand.
People question me that if I were to be given the chance, would I become heterosexual. My response is no, and that I have learned to embrace myself. I cannot imagine myself in any other form, being, or person. Do not get me wrong, I do not find girls disgusting. In fact, I find girls tend to be more approachable and accepting friends. Being able to have a discussion with them involving relationships can be helpful.
However, what exactly is the definition of "normal" and how can we disrespect others because they are not normal in our eyes? For those who will challenge my beliefs, I will accept them. Showing disapproval towards me is one of the ways that I will learn and mature as a person, and as an individual with pride. Embracing me because of my differences shows the compassion and affection that people can still show, regardless.
Remember that there are no laws requiring the banishment of homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, etc. We are the same as you, despite the minor change in our lifestyle. Nevertheless, the lifestyle that we choose should not define us. When people ask questions, I will answer, only because I believe it helps people to not come to conclusions or judge others right away.
Thank your taking the time to read this. For those who accept me, I am truly thankful. For those who disagree with me, that is all right too. Perhaps I would feel the same way as you if I were in your situation. Perhaps you will go through the same struggles as I have, if you were in my shoes. Differences of opinion, believes, culture, and lifestyle are what make us a diverse society.
Just an ordinary boy,
TIKE
