Dear Grenouille,
I am writing you an open letter, because I would like to comment on your French. I am appalled that a citizen of Paris would speak French so poorly!
Firstly, "no" in French is spelt "non". Is that really something that you do not know? It's very basic! And anyone who was French, such as yourself, would NEVER say "No" and "Oui" at the same time. Either it would be, non et oui or no and yes.
Furthermore, your name is pronounced "GREN-ew-ee". I mean, how many people do not know how to pronounce their own name? If it is so hard for you to say your name in French, why not try "Frog"? Apparently, you speak some words in English better than you do in French!
And lastly, because you are such a busy French person, it seems you would take on one of the worst habits, of saying "Ouai! Ouai!" as many French people do because they are so busy!
Please, speak some real language! Anyone! Et si vous pouvez le comprendre, sa voudrais la peine de perdre l'accent francais si faux! C'est penible!
Sincerement,
La Belle Giggler01
Editor's Note:
Le Ouch! You are absolutely right!
The truth about Grenouille is that he is anything BUT French. He is the
ultimate poseur and learned his French from a Book on Tape that had been
left out on the dashboard in the blazing summer sun. Verrry sketchy...!
But don't tell him I said so!
