The string says, "Hey look, can't you make one exception? Just for me?" and the bartender says, "No, and if you don't get out, I'll have to send Kongo after you."

Well, the string is really thirsty, so he keeps pestering the bartender for a drink. Finally, the bartender calls for Kongo, and tells him to kick the string out. Kongo throws the string out, and they don't see him again.

Shortly afterward, though, a messed up piece of rope comes in. He's all knotted and dirty and messy. The bartender takes one looks at him and says, "Hey! Aren't you the string that came in here before?" and the string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

And here's another one:

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buccaneer!


And finally:

A snail slithers into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "Hey, I would like a drink!" and the bartender yells, "GET OUT! WE DON'T SERVE SNAILS!!"

The snail looks at him and says, "Please, I'm really thirsty, so please make an exception for me."

The bartender says, "If you don't get out, I'll have to throw you out!" and so the snail asks again, "Can I have a drink?"

Tthe bartender picks him up and tosses him out the window.

He never sees the snail again, but he feels really bad about what he did and he wants to apologize to the snail, but the snail never comes back in. The bartender feels so horrible about what he did to that poor snail that it bothers him every day of his life afterward.

One night, 10 years later, as the bartender's closing up his bar for the night, he hears a knock on the door. He goes to the door, and there is snail!

The bartender looks at the snail, and the snail glares at the bartender and says "Hey! What did you do that for!?!"