I was at the petition part of the poll booth today and I saw some really bad petitions. I decided to write a Times article explaining how to make better ones. I thought that Whyvillians should know what is a good petition and what isn't. Here are some examples of bad ones. I have added how the authors can improve them, and removed the authors' names. Here's petition #1:

"If you vote for this I say we can all get clams anytime by just emailing the city people. Just one email and you get as many clams as you want!"

This one is just like asking for a million clams a day; it won't ever happen. Whyvillians work for their clams, and that is the point of it. This petition had good spelling, which is the best part about it, but that doesn't cut it. There should be good ideas in petitions, not stuff that asks for clams. Here is petition #2:

"Expiring parts stink! We use our clams to buy a part and they expire in about 93 days if you don???t have a why-pass. That???s not right! Well if you vote for my petition, you just might help me convince the city hall to stop making face parts from expiring. Thanks for your time! Vote for me PLEASE!!"

This petition is just like most of the others. It asks for no expiring parts, which would damage the servers a lot! Just buy a why-pass if you want to keep your face parts so much! On to petition #3:

"i think there should be a dating game. so you can try and get a boyfriend. if you thimk so too vote for me plz plz plz plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I am against dating in the first place, but even if I was for it, who would want to get a significant other because of a game? Not me! People should make more detailed, longer petitions that are spelled right and have a good idea. If you have to, use a spell checker!

Here are some examples of titles that aren't going to get you many votes. Title #1:

"gfhr"

This title won't attract anyone, but will make you sound like a weirdo. In this petition, that was pretty much all they said, random letters. Next title:

"if u read u die"

Now, this attracts attention, but every petition uses it and then says "Well, now that I have your attention. . ." It is annoying! Make a title that has to do with it!

Now, go to the poll booth, and vote for some good petitions based on what I've taught you! Thanks for your time!

This is ps2man1, signing off. *click!*