www.whyville.net Sep 27, 2006 Weekly Issue

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The Gaming Gazette

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We're all bored with the monotonous, repetitive niche in gaming the movie-based game. Why is this? Perhaps it is a lack of creativity by the game developers to go beyond the film's basic content. Perhaps it's that they're usually so darn short. Or perhaps it's because the game adds nothing to the overall story, and tends to be a complete rehash of the story up on the big screen. Apparently, your friendly neighborhood gaming corporations think so too, as the newest trend in video gaming seems to be the spin-off: a game relating to the film (same characters, environments, etc.) but with a mostly different story. Being one to criticize, I, Gamer37, have headed straight for the bandwagon. Here are a few spin-offs I'd like to see.

Second Hand Lions

In the spin-off of this underrated gem, you can kick butt with Walter's geriatric uncles! Swordfight with the sheik! Rescue human-Jasmine! After all, what other non-military related game lets you play in the Middle East? And don't forget the possibility of side missions, letting you take control of lion-Jasmine. Yay African Mammals!

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Sure, there have been tons of Star Wars games. Games about space battles, pod racing, about bounty hunters, well you get the idea. But never in the entire history of LucasArts has there been a game where you can play as everyone's favorite intergalactic slug: Jabba the Hutt. In a Sims-style game, you can build your own desert palace, hire an elite guard, attempt to kill Han Solo -- anything your slimy heart desires.

The Wizard of Oz

What's black, furry, and is all over the place? No, it's not Orlando Bloom's hair; it's everyone's favorite canine Toto! Imagine, running away from Dorothy! Biting the Wicked Witch's ankle! Or you could just ditch orothy from the start, and instead of going to the magical land of Oz, chase he farm animals around all day instead. Hey, what else is livestock for?

The Producers

Everyone wants to be in a Broadway show, right? Now's your chance too! Audition for Springtime for Hitler! (Yes, that's what the play is called, but hey, it's supposed to be a flop) Wow, imagine Bialystock and Bloom with your incredible talent! Give a shout-out to the director of this movie (Mel Brooks) in the middle of your tap routine! Granted, that would be a little out of place, but you've gotta love Mel Brooks! Without him there would be no goofy take on the World's history. Can I get a whoop whoop? No? Fine, than be that way.

Well, that was my awkward yet amusing list of videogame movie spin-offs I would like to see. Studies show that this paragraph I am currently typing is less important. Studies also show that 50% of all studies are pointless.

This is Gamer37 signing off to pour iodine on his lawn.


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